


Defining Balance

by jbn42



Series: Connections [6]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, BB-8 is like a pet, Established Relationship, F/M, Facing off in dreams, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Gen, Ilum, Kes is the best dad ever, Kyber Crystals, Lightsabers, Plot with occasional fluff, Strength in the bond, Taking control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbn42/pseuds/jbn42
Summary: Kylo Ren tries to re-establish his bond with Rey, and it scares her. She asks Poe to do something for her, but he is not entirely sure it's a good idea. While it may not end the war, they may be heading towards something that tells Kylo Ren that Rey is not alone and that she is somebody to a lot of people.





	1. You Need a...

 

 

“You need a lightsaber.”

“I need a what?” Poe just emerged from the refresher after a shower, hair wet, towel around his bare shoulders, clad in just a pair of sleep pants. He’s also looking at his wife of just a week like she suddenly grew a second head.

They moved bases again two days ago, and there has been a lot of work needed on their most recent refuge. It has little housing, but it’s remote and temporary as they seek a new site. It also has a history, Lah’mu, the planet where the late hero of Scarif, Jyn Erso, hid with her family as a child. For now, they’re living mostly on their ships. He and Rey are in quarters they’ve had before, a room on the small cruiser, their lead ship now, the Holdo.

Rey, who returned to their quarters while he was in the shower, stands there in the middle of the room, hair loose around her shoulders, wearing one of his old, soft pullover shirts and little else, hands on her hips. “A lightsaber.”

“No, I decidedly do not need a lightsaber, Beautiful. I get a headache when I even move too many rocks. I am only slightly closer to being a Jedi than Chewie is. The last thing I need is a glowing sword that can cut rocks in half.” As he speaks, he rubs the towel on his head, trying to get rid of excess water in his hair. He’s exaggerating a little, but he really isn’t interested in a lightsaber.

She frowns. “But…”

“Rey, seriously, no.” He finishes with the towel and hangs it on the bar on the refresher door, noting that BB-8 is powered down, already in his charging station. “Where is this coming from?”

She goes and sits on their bed, crossing her legs under her. “I don’t know. I was practicing with mine today, and it occurred to me that I’d love to spar with you using sabers. I know you’d be good with one. Kriff, even Finn managed mine on Starkiller, and, according to Chewie, on Takodana.”

He comes over and perches next to her on the bed. He takes her left hand in his, their wedding bands clinking as they touch, his a simple band of the same metal as her two, one his mother’s and the other the kyber-infused band he gave her when they decided to get married. He entwines their fingers, trying to sort out the feelings she’s telegraphing right now. It’s a bit of a muddle, but in the midst of it, he can feel that what she just proposed is quite important to her. He also feels like there’s something she’s holding back.

“Rey, talk to me. What’s going on?” She stays silent, and he mentally reaches out, trying to feel or hear what’s on her mind. He blinks a moment later, startled to feel fear. “Beautiful, you’re scaring me.”

She looks at him, a sheen of tears in her eyes. “I was meditating after I practiced earlier. I suddenly felt Kylo Ren trying to push into my head. I was able to block him out easily, but he felt…unhinged. It scared me.”

He pulls her to him, and she moves willingly. He leans against the wall behind the bed, and she all but crawls into his lap. He hugs her tight to his body, and she presses her face into his neck. She inhales deeply, and she catches the smell of the standard-issue soap they all use. Underneath that, though, is him, something clean, like if the air, the sky, had a scent. She must think that thought directly to him, because he squeezes her tighter and says, “And you smell like sunshine.”

They stay like that for a while. Eventually, worry gets the better of Poe. “Rey, this hasn’t happened before, has it? Him trying to push in? And how am I just now feeling how upset you are?”

“It hasn’t happened that I could tell. It scares me to think that he’s been trying since Crait. Maybe he’s getting stronger.” Her voice waivers. She hates feeling this, feeling afraid. “And I was blocking you. I didn’t want you to worry.”

He sighs and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I don’t understand why you went straight to the idea of me getting a lightsaber?” He’s honestly confused. His limited use of the Force is learned, not natural, and he has had to work at everything he’s able to do.

He looks over at the three potted trees near the small window in their quarters, shards of the Force tree that is (or, more accurately, they fear was) at his dad’s house on Yavin 4. The small trees are starting to flourish under Rey’s careful hand, but she keeps them small and trimmed so that they remain portable. Small as they are, they give off an energy that he knows feeds them both.

“I know you’re not a Jedi, and I know you don’t care to be. But whether you believe it or not, you are strong with the Force now. Regardless of how you got here, here is where you are. I think using a lightsaber might ground you more in it – it did me. And the actual motions aren’t necessarily force driven, though the strength of my hits vary with how much of the Force I channel behind them. Proficiency doesn’t require strong use of the Force.” She’s vehement once again, and he blinks in surprise. She knows she doesn’t usually push on Force-related things, but this feels critical to her.

He cocks his head, thinking about that. “I never looked at it that way.”

“Will you at least consider it?” She leans away from him, looking up to see his eyes.

He nods. “I’ll think about it. We’d have to get a crystal, right?”

“Yes. We’d have to go to Ilum, most likely, and then meditate on it and you’d probably have to carry it with you for a bit before it would be ready. At least that’s what the texts indicate.” She motions to the pilfered (she prefers to say “liberated”) Jedi texts on a nearby shelf.

“All right. Thinking about it. Fair enough, Beautiful?” He leans down and kisses her before shifting her out of his lap to settle her on the bed.

She gets the covers pulled back and slips under them as he goes and turns out the lights. She smiles at him as he returns. “Yes. Fair enough, Flyboy.” She feels a spark of hope, and it helps her relax.

He climbs in next to her, pulling her to him. She curls into him, resting her head on his shoulder, and he presses a kiss to her temple. “Sleep, Beautiful. No bad dreams tonight.”

She drops off quickly, his hand combing through her loose hair. It takes him longer to fall asleep. He has to block his feelings from her, because he’s extremely angry about Kylo trying to get to Rey. He’s also thinking about a lightsaber. He’s not sure how much more grounded in the Force he actually wants to be – he’s not necessarily afraid of it, but after what happened after they had to face off with Kylo on Yavin 4, Poe is a little gun shy.

At the same time, maybe being stronger in the Force would help him avoid the headaches and nosebleeds. That’s improved with the slow building of usage, but maybe getting more grounded, more fluid with use would help in a different way. He sighs, closing his eyes.

He can’t lie to himself, either – he knows that he wants to be able to help Rey when the day comes where she has to face Kylo. Being stronger in the Force might help him help her. With that thought, he finally relaxes and falls asleep, holding her close and resolving to give her idea some serious thought.

*****

The next morning, she’s gone by the time he wakes up. He remembers that she had plans to meet Rose and Chewie to work on some improvements to the Falcon’s hyperdrive. BB-8’s charging station is empty, so he assumes that the little droid went with Rey to help her.

He gets dressed and heads to the bridge, knowing that’s where he’ll find Leia. He stops by the mess and gets himself a ration bar and cups of caf for both Leia and himself. When he gets to the bridge, he finds Leia at the small area she claimed at the back of it, where she has a desk. There are tablets spread out around her, and an empty cup next to her.

As he heads over to Leia, Connix shoots him an irritated look. He rolls his eyes and moves past her, going to Leia’s desk. He puts the fresh cup of caf down in front of Leia and leans against the desk, perching his hip on the edge of it.

She looks up in surprise, but then she grabs the cup and takes a long sip. She smiles as she puts it back down. “I knew there was a reason I promoted you, Colonel.”

He laughs and shakes his head, still unused to his new rank. “Happy to be of service, General. And it’s fun for me, because now I’m two ranks above Dad.”

She rolls her eyes. “Behave, or I’ll promote him too.”

“I see Connix is still pissed at me.” He smirks.

“You and Rey didn’t let them plan a fancy wedding. They wanted a big ceremony and dressy party. You two got married in your regular clothes and just had a party in the hangar.” She shoots him a look. “Rey didn’t even carry flowers. They may never forgive you.”

Snorting, he nods. “Anything on a new base?”

“Unfortunately not.” She shakes her head. “After the spy was captured and killed on Endor, I’m being a lot more cautious.” She looks up at him and arches an eyebrow. “And what is this I hear about Rey asking how far it is to Ilum? I thought the crystal she has is working?”

He runs a hand through his hair. “She thinks I need a lightsaber.”

Leia blinks in surprise at that, then she looks thoughtful. “Let’s take a walk, kid.”

She doesn’t wait for a reply, just stands and heads out, caf cup one hand, her cane in the other. He follows, also carrying his cup. They head towards one of the ship’s exits, and a few minutes later, they’re outside in the cool, damp Lah’mu morning. He looks around. “Did you ever meet Jyn Erso?”

She shakes her head. “No, but my father did. He used the word ‘fierce’ to describe her. I did know Captain Andor and many of the soldiers who died with them on Scarif; your dad did too. Cassian Andor was one of the best spies the Rebellion ever had, and he was a good man, even if hard to know well.”

“Most spies are, aren’t they?” Poe cocks an eyebrow at her.

“That they are.” They get to a large, flat rock, one slightly shielded from the breeze and the mist, but also one with a clear view and path back to the cruiser. She sits down and pats the spot next to her. “Sit, Poe.” He complies, settling next to her and putting his cup down. “Why does she think you need a lightsaber?”

“You’re not going to like it much, General.”

“Poe, we’re sitting outside on a damp rock. It’s Leia.” She gently taps his leg with her cane.

He chuckles and amends, “You’re not going to like it much, Leia.”

“Better. And let me guess – it has to do with my son, correct?” She sighs.

He cocks his head at her. “Yes. Kylo, Ben, tried to push into her head while she was meditating yesterday.”

“Kylo. Ben is gone, at least as far as I can tell. For a long time, I had hope. But between what he did to you,” Poe still shudders at that memory, and she pats him on the leg, “What he did to Rey, and what he did to,” she takes a deep breath, “Han, I can’t hope anymore. Even if he ever turned, I cannot see how his head or heart could be whole.”

“She’s afraid, Leia. I’d even say terrified. And she felt almost desperate in her need to get me to say yes to this. She thinks it will help ground me in the Force the way it did her. I think she thinks it will help me hold off Kylo.” He runs his hand through his hair again.

Leia takes his hand in hers. “And what do you think, Poe? That’s what matters here.”

He takes a deep breath. “I’d be willing to try it. To see if it helps me the way she thinks it will.” He looks at her. “And if it means I can help her fight your son, I have to be honest with you, Leia, I will do it without hesitation.”

“Good.” Leia squeezes his hand. “I loved my son. I still love whatever tiny piece of him that inhabits Kylo Ren. But Kylo Ren killed Ben Solo when he killed Han. I believe that.”

“I’m sorry, Leia.”

“It’s not your fault, Poe.”

“I know. Still sorry, though.” He gives her a sad smile, which she returns. “So, if I decide to go along with this, can we have a go? It’s actually a good time. We’re closer to Ilum than we’ve been in a long time. We’d probably just take a couple of fighters – Rose is working on the Falcon’s hyperdrive.”

Leia stands and nods. “You do. You can go anytime – your X-Wing and Shara’s A-Wing. Take a binary beacon, though. Just in case.”

“Thank you, Leia.” He stands too.

She starts to head back to the cruiser when she pauses. “Rey should get her own crystal. I know she has Anakin Skywalker’s. She should have her own.”

“I had the same thought, Leia. I’ll tell her that from both of us.” He gives her a smile.

“Hells, Poe. Make it a condition.” She arches an eyebrow and then turns and continues back to the cruiser. He laughs and shakes his head, following her.

Not long after, he finds Rey in the Falcon, working on the ship’s hyperdrive with Rose, BB-8, and Chewie. “Beautiful?”

She’d sensed his approach, and she’s not surprised to hear him call her. Rose shoos her away. “We got this, Rey.” Chewie calls his agreement, so Rey stands up and joins Poe. He takes her hand and pulls her with him back off of the ship.

When they’re outside the Falcon and he sees that they’re alone, he surprises her by saying, “Connix is still mad at me.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “I’ll have Rose talk to her. I think she needs to know that I was the inflexible one, not you.”

He leans down and kisses her. “You were gone when I woke up.”

“You looked tired last night. I know the moves take a lot out of you and the general. We all just have to move stuff. You two have to worry about where we’re going, Colonel.” She reaches up and brushes some hair back from his eyes.

“Not on our own. We have more leaders than we did even weeks ago.” He takes a deep breath. “We have clearance to go to Ilum.”

She blinks. “You’re willing to…” As much as she’d wanted to ask, she’d decided that she wasn’t going to push him about the lightsaber.

He nods. “On one condition, one that was Leia’s idea. You have to get yourself your own crystal, too. Anakin’s is a serviceable back-up, but you should have your own.”

“I,” she hesitates, “I don’t know. I like Anakin’s.”

“But Rey, you don’t know any different. Maybe finding your own crystal would be something you like even more.”

“And it’s a condition.” She doesn’t phrase it as a question, but she does arch an eyebrow at him.

“It is. Leia’s right.”

She sighs. “All right. It might be interesting. When can we go?”

“Anytime. It’s not a long trip. I told Leia we’d take Black One and Mom’s A-Wing. You’ve basically claimed the A-Wing as your own anyway. Might as well just keep it Green One and call her yours.” He reaches down and takes her hand again. “Dad noticed how much you love her – he told me he wants you to take her.”

“Really?” She grins, her first bright smile since the day before when Kylo tried to push into her head.

“Really. Come on, let’s go grab some gear and rations. Hopefully, we can go there and back today.” He starts pulling her again, this time towards the crew quarters. BB-8 must have been curious, as he rolls down the Falcon’s ramp, following them. Poe notices and smiles at his little droid. “Ready for a quick trip, buddy?” The droid beeps and trills happily, so Poe motions to Black One with his head. “Go get her ready, then. And have another droid check on Green One.”

BB-8 lets out an affronted beep at that, stopping and giving Poe what could only be described as a stern look. He then lets out a series of beeps that make Poe hold his hands up in defeat. “Or you can check on Green One first, then check Black One.”

Rey laughs out loud at the exchange, watching fondly as the astromech rolls away towards their ships in the hangar. Poe shakes his head. “That droid.”

Pulling him this time, Rey gets them moving towards their quarters again. “Oh stop. You utterly adore him.”

“Only sometimes.” Poe snarks, and she bumps him with her hip. “Yeah, yeah, fine. All of the time.”

He lets her drag him to their quarters, some of his mental blocks up so she doesn’t worry or become reticent about this. He’s still not sure it’s a good idea, but if it makes her smile, he realizes that he’ll do practically anything. And he has to admit that lightsabers are pretty awesome. As they walk, he mutters, “Ilum, here we come.”


	2. They Find You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe head to Ilum, and Poe is surprised by how he feels about it.

 

 

Just under an hour later, they return to the hangar. They’re dressed for extreme cold, with loaded packs and weapons in hand. She has her current lightsaber, a blaster, and her staff. He has his usual blaster with a second one in a shoulder holster and a knife that was a recent gift from his dad who claims that he’ll turn him into a Pathfinder one day. Poe rolls his eyes at the memory. Pilot, Leader, Pathfinder, and apparent Jedi – he’s not sure what else they can turn him into.

Rey is walking in front of him, and she suddenly turns, concern on her face. He realizes that he has his blocks completely down when she quietly says, “We ask a lot of you, don’t we? Is it too much, Poe? You can tell me if it is.”

“I didn’t mean for you to hear that, Beautiful.” He reaches out and cups her cheek with his palm. “First of all, Dad was kidding about turning me into a Pathfinder. Second, I know you would never force me into trying to somehow become a Jedi. I was just being a little petulant. There are days when just the pilot and leader parts are overwhelming on their own.”

She leans up and kisses him. “You wear it well, Colonel.”

He smooths some hair out of her eyes, escaped from the simple braid she has it in to accommodate her helmet and then winter hat on Ilum. “I hope so, Beautiful. I never had anything to do except blow stuff up and live to blow more stuff up tomorrow. Oddly enough, that was simple and pretty easy to manage, even with the fairly constant possibility of being blown into a thousand pieces myself.” He shrugs. “Leia is brilliant. I do my best to believe that she knows what she’s doing, but some days, I think she’s insane.”

She reaches out and takes his hand, beckoning him to follow her. “She’s not insane, Poe. She just believes in you. That’s not insane.”

He stays silent, but he squeezes her hand. When they get to the hangar, BB-8 is waiting by their fighters. He reports that both ships are ready to go and that they’d quickly added some additional shielding to the cockpits and wiring in order to protect the ships from the extreme cold on Ilum. As he gets loaded into Black One, Rose, Finn, and Kes approach.

Rose looks excited. “You’re going to Ilum? Are you going for kyber?” When they both give her a funny look, she explains, “BB-8 told us! We helped him prep your fighters! Do you need me to start thinking about casing designs? I can work on some, and we can customize them for each of you!”

Rey and Poe exchange a look, and Poe shrugs. Rey shakes her head and smiles, turning to Rose. Sometimes the simplest way to manage Rose’s boundless enthusiasm is to just go with it. She thinks that towards Poe, and he snorts. Rey says, “Rose, of course. We’d love that. Just make them flexible enough to have space for crystals of varying size.”

Finn and Kes look at each other, and Kes then turns to Poe. “A lightsaber, kid?”

He points at Rey. “Her idea. I’m just trying to make my wife happy. Like you taught me, Dad.”

Rey rolls her eyes, knowing that he is mainly trying to avoid explaining it to Kes. “Dad, I asked him because I think it will help him get more grounded in the Force, but also because I just want to have the back up in a different way.”

Finn and Rose seem to accept the reasoning, and then Chewie calls them towards the Falcon. He gives Rey and Poe a wave, which they return. Kes, on the other hand, isn’t as easily convinced. Once Rose and Finn are out of earshot, Kes gives them a look and says, “Keep talking, kids, because there’s pretty clearly more to this than you’re saying.”

Poe shakes his head, and Rey sighs. After a moment of silence, Poe looks at Rey, who offers a slight nod and then busies herself stowing her gear in the small space behind her seat in the A-Wing. Poe turns to Kes. “Dad, Kylo Ren tried to get into her head yesterday. Rey asked me to do this.” He takes his dad by the arm and moves them closer to Black One. Poe says, “She’s scared, Dad. If this will help her be less scared, then I’ll do it.”

“You’re not sold on this idea yet. I can tell.” Kes cocks his head at him.

“It’s not exactly that, Dad. I’m not a Jedi, and I won’t ever be. A lightsaber won’t change that. But I’ll admit that I’m intrigued. If it helps me balance and focus, if it helps me navigate the Force more effectively, I’m willing to try, because my effectiveness with it might help protect Rey one day.”

Kes nods, and he’s silent for a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “I don’t think I can begin to describe how proud I am of you and how proud Shara would be. She would love the man you’ve become, and she’d love that girl you married.”

Poe has to swallow hard to keep his eyes from tearing up. “Thanks, Dad. I’m just glad that girl was willing to look my way, much less marry me.”

He feels a familiar warm wave from Rey, and he turns to see her standing nearby, a soft smile on her face. Kes squeezes Poe’s shoulder, and says, “Be careful, kid.” He then goes to Rey and wraps her up in a hug. “Try to stay warm and out of trouble, Little Jedi. And keep that one,” he motions to Poe with his head, “In line.”

She hugs Kes back. “I’ll do my best, Dad, but you know he’s incorrigible.”

He chuckles. “That he is. But we like him that way, don’t we?”

Poe rolls his eyes and climbs up his ladder to drop his pack in his X-Wing. Rey laughs softly. “We do. We’ll see you soon, Dad.”

“Safe travels, Little Jedi.” He hugs Rey one more time and heads out of the hangar.

Poe drops back to the ground. “He adores you, Beautiful.”

“He’s quite fond of you, too, Flyboy.” He smiles and nods. It’s just banter. Poe has no doubt as to his father’s affection for either of them. As much as he hates his dad being back in the middle of a war, he’s damned glad to have him near, to be able to see him whenever he wants to. “I’m quite fond of you, too. I know you think this little mission of mine is possibly ill-conceived. I appreciate that you’re willing to set that aside and do this for me.” She takes his hand and looks down at the ground.

“Rey.” She looks back up at him. “I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

She blushes lightly, something he finds highly endearing. “I’d do anything for you, too,” she takes a deep breath, “Which is why I’ll offer you an out now. If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. We can take our things back to our quarters and forget about it. I even know that this might be fruitless, given how badly the Empire stripped Ilum’s kyber mines.”

He shakes his head. “Nope. It’s worth trying. You’ve got me intrigued by it now, Beautiful. I’m in. Even if I think it’s a little out there, even for us.”

“Then let’s go, Flyboy.” She presses a kiss to his lips and turns to climb up into the A-Wing. He goes up the ladder into Black One, but just as he’s about to close his canopy, Rey calls, “Poe?” He leans out, a question on his face. “Thank you.”

He winks at her. “Anytime, Beautiful. Let’s go.”

“Yes sir, Black Leader.”

They both close their canopies, and a moment later, Command gives them clearance to leave. Rey shoots out of the hangar first, Poe close behind her. As he heads up, he hears General Organa wish them good luck and clear skies. He smiles. At his word, Rey makes the jump to hyperspace. He responds to Leia, “Thank you, General. This is Black Leader, preparing to jump. See you soon.”

Under two hours later, they drop out of light speed at Ilum; from space, Rey gasps at the clear damage done to the planet by the Empire’s mining years ago. While they’d been chatting back and forth via their bond while in hyperspace, they switch to comms. Poe speaks up first. “BB-8 just did a scan, nothing out there. Rey, you’re going to have to guide us, here. I can’t tell anything from the scans.”

“All right. Give me a moment.” She closes her eyes and reaches out towards the ravaged planet. It only takes a moment for her to feel a pull. “Got it. Follow me, Flyboy.”

“Yes ma’am.” He grins, almost able to feel her roll her eyes.

A few minutes later, she leads them down. He can see a flat plain near an open fissure below them. Some steam is rising near it, something he sees as a positive. It may help keep their fighters from freezing, and he doesn’t think they’ll be here long enough for the ground to be unstable. “We headed to that plain?” He asks over comms, not wanting to use the bond in case it would interfere with whatever she’s doing to find the crystals.

“Yes. I can feel that there’s a cave close by.” She feels the pull getting stronger. “Permission to land?” Regardless of their relationship, she tries her best to be respectful of his position as leader when they’re on any sort of official undertaking.

“Go ahead, Beautiful. I’m right behind you.” As they both settle near each other on the plain, he adds, “Get your cold weather gear, including your gloves, hat, and scarf, on before you open your canopy, Rey. It’s freezing out there. And pull up your hood over your hat.”

She agrees readily, already feeling the chill of the climate here. It’s frigid. She pulls her helmet off and pulls on the warm hat, gloves, and scarf, covering it all with a heavy coat, the hood pulled up around her face. Luckily, they have fabric for the gloves that is miraculously thin while still providing significant protection from the cold. She has some mittens in her pocket that she can pull on over the gloves if necessary. Getting her small pack and her weapons, she opens her canopy and climbs out, sliding it closed behind her.

She sees Poe, similarly attired, do the same over at Black One. He’s talking to BB-8 when she joins him. “Buddy, we need you to stay here and call us if the ground goes unstable. Can you do that?” The droid beeps out an affirmative. Poe nods. “Thanks, Buddy. And stay in the ship. It’ll be warmer.”

He turns to Rey. “We’re going to do this fast, right? Even with the thermal activity under this plain, I think this is the coldest place I’ve ever been. And that’s saying a lot, because I’ve been to Hoth.”

Rey nods, and he can see that she’s already shivering. He comes over and adjusts her scarf for her, covering the lower part of her face and tucking the ends into her heavy coat. Then, he reaches into her pockets for her and pulls out the mittens, slipping them over her gloved hands. He thinks, “Tuck the ends in, and it’ll insulate better. And keep the mittens on as much as you can.”

She blinks up at him, thinking, “Thanks, Flyboy. How are you not freezing?”

He shrugs and motions for her to lead the way. She closes her eyes to focus and then points down the edge of the clearing to a cave opening he can see. Once they start moving, he thinks back, “I’m definitely freezing. Just not as much as you. I’ve spent enough time on colder worlds that I’m a little more acclimated. Let me try something.”

He shoots one of their warm waves at her. It seems to steal a little of his warmth, but it’s worth it when she turns to look back at him. He can’t see her mouth, but he can tell from the crinkles around her eyes that she’s smiling. He winks at her, and they keep going towards the cave. They carefully pick their way down the edge of the clearing, and a moment later they stumble into the cave. It’s at least incrementally warmer inside, making him guess that the seismic and thermal activity feeds into the cave.

He pulls his scarf down from his mouth and lowers his hood, but he keeps the rest of his gear on. She does the same, also pulling the mittens off from over her gloves. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this kriffing cold in my life.”

He chuckles. “I’d imagine not. I have. But again, I’ve been to Hoth.”

She pulls a flashlight from the small bag she carries, and he pulls one from the cargo pocket on his snow pants. The cave is just a dark, rocky tunnel, but when Rey cocks her head, she feels like she can hear what sounds like music, a soft sound from the breeze in the cave blowing against rocks deeper inside. She beckons him to follow her, and he does, blaster drawn as a precaution.

He keeps an eye on the cave walls, ready to start running a line if he gets worried about their ability to find their way back out. So far, though, it’s a straight shot. He can also hear a low hum, and he guesses that it’s the thermal activity in the area around the cave.

They walk for nearly five minutes before Rey gasps softly. Poe raises his blaster instinctively, but he lowers it almost immediately, eyes widening in surprise. He sees a bright light in front of them, and the light of their flashlights glints off of the shining stones ahead. He lowers his light, turning it off. She does the same, looking at him with a smile.

She walks forward, and the temperature rises slightly as they go into the crystal cave. Poe can’t help but be reminded of the “crystal critters” back on Crait. It’s quiet here, though, except for the hum that he still can’t quite identify. Rey approaches a group of the crystals. Some of them are quite small, and it strikes Poe that they might be regenerating.

His thoughts are open to her, and she breathes out, “Is that even possible?” in response.

“It must be.” He speaks softly, and he goes on, “Rey, do you hear a hum?”

She looks at him. “No. But I do hear a breeze, like wind singing off of the stones.”

“I thought it was the thermal activity at first, but I think it’s…” He furrows his brow and motions to the crystals. “Is it possible that we are each hearing something different?”

“Poe, a stone may be calling you. Where is it coming from?” Her eyes widen.

He closes his eyes for a moment, concentrating on the sound. After a moment, his eyes open, and he points to the far side of the cave they’re in. “Over there. Where is your breeze?”

She motions right by them, opposite from where he just pointed. “So, you hear a humming sound?”

He nods. “Low and steady.”

“This is fascinating – I don’t hear a hum at all, and you don’t hear the breeze at all?”

“No breeze.” He looks back towards the source of the hum. He’s a little apprehensive at the notion that a crystal might be calling to him, but he knows he needs to go check it out. “Meet you back here, Beautiful?”

She nods. “Yes. If you find the right one, just be sure it’s the right size.” She motions with her hand. “And be careful chipping it out.”

“Got it, and will do, Beautiful.” He leans down and presses a kiss to her cool cheek, and she shoos him towards the other side of the cave.

As he picks his way across the field of crystals, the hum gets louder. He can’t stop the thought of, “This is crazy.”

She smiles faintly, concentrating on a small, golden-hued outcropping of crystals. It is made up mostly of very small stones, but in the middle, there is one that is similar in size to the one in Anakin’s lightsaber. She touches it with her gloved hand, but while the breeze continues, she doesn’t feel anything. An idea occurs to her. She takes her gloves off, and she reaches out again with both hands. As her fingertips brush the crystal, they’re briefly infused with warmth. At the same time, her ring, the one with the kyber mixed into the metal, vibrates slightly.

She breaks into a grin and thinks at him, “Flyboy, you have to take your gloves off when you think you’ve found it!”

He mentally acknowledges her, and he quirks a half-smile at the excitement he feels from her across their bond. He finds himself being drawn to a fairly large grouping of crystals. Some of them are clear, others imbued with blue, white, or even soft purple, seeming to change slightly when the light hits them. He crouches down and looks at them carefully.

There are several crystals in the cluster that would be a good size, but he can’t differentiate them in any way. Minding her words, he slips his gloves off. The hum intensifies slightly as he reaches towards the crystals. He runs his fingertips over several of them to no effect, but then he comes in contact with one of the multi-colored stones. He jumps back slightly, startled when the stone shoots warmth up his arm. “What the hells?”

“Poe, are you all right?” She calls across the cavern this time.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine. Think I found it, though.” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, just gets out the small tool set they each brought, and he carefully chips the crystal free. It only takes a minute or so before the crystal is loose. He pulls it free, and the warm feeling from it intensifies for a moment as he grips it in his right hand. “That is amazing.”

He straightens up, pulling out his flashlight and pointing it at the crystal in his hand. The light glints off of it, and it casts multicolored beams of light around the room. After a moment of stillness, cold starts creeping into his bones, so he pockets the light and the stone, and he pulls his gloves back on. Making his way back to her, he finds her sitting on the cave floor, a yellow-gold crystal in her hand.

He crouches next to her. She looks up at him, her eyes alight with excitement. “Find what you were looking for?”

She grins. “It’s golden – yellow.” She holds it up for him to see.

He blinks. “Like a sun.” He reaches out and brushes her hair back under her hat. “I always think of suns when I think of you.”

She ducks her head, her smile softening. She slips her crystal into her pocket and slips her gloves back on, her hands suddenly shaking with cold. “Did you find one?”

He goes into his pocket and pulls out his multicolored crystal. “My hand felt warm when I touched it.”

She takes it in her now-gloved hand, holding it up to the light in the room, murmuring, “So many colors. Force, that’s beautiful. It reminds me of the sky.”

He nods. “They really find us, don’t they?”

“Told you this was a good idea.” She smirks, but it’s gentle.

He returns the look. “Told you that you needed your own.”

She cocks her head towards the path out of the cave. “I thought that was Leia’s idea.”

He snorts and pulls his flashlight out, leading the way this time. “Yeah, but I’m the one who sold you on it.”

“Sure, Flyboy. I seem to recall something of a conditioned offer.” She follows him out, shaking her head, an indulgent smile on her face.

He looks back at her. “And you fell for it. As if I wouldn’t have completely caved on you, Beautiful.”

“Caved?” She rolls her eyes.

He grins and keeps going. “You walked right into that one. Now let’s keep going. I’m cold, so you must be damn-near frozen solid.”

She can’t argue with that. The weight of the crystal in her pocket is comforting and solid, and she’s surprised by how focused and settled it makes her feel. Poe hears the thought, and he concentrates on his own crystal. He’s just as surprised as she is at how it centers him.

As they get back to the mouth of the cave, he turns to her. Before he pulls her scarf up and tight for her, he leans down and presses a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. “I’m glad you asked me to do this, Beautiful.”

He fixes her scarf for her and pulls up her hood. In turn, she does the same for him, and then she pulls on her mittens. Despite the layers, she reaches out and somewhat clumsily takes his hand. She thinks, “Thank you for saying yes.”

His eyes crinkle up and light with a smile, and they quietly make their way back to the fighters, this shared experience wrapping around them like a soft blanket on a cold night. For the first time since she suggested this, he relaxes completely, his mind buzzing softly at what comes next.

 

 

 


	3. Dogfights and More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey encounter some trouble when they leave Ilum, but then things get a lot better.

 

As they come up over the edge of the clearing, Poe’s comm goes off in his ear, and BB-8 trills out a series of alarmed beeps. He looks at Rey, and he can see in her eyes that BB-8 called her too. They both think the same thing to each other. “Run.”

BB-8’s call had been that four ships, a small shuttle and three smaller ships, just came into orbit around the planet. As they run, Poe pulls his scarf away from his face. “BB-8, get Black One fired up now.” He looks at Rey. “I want you in Black One and up, Rey.”

She pockets a mitten and pulls her scarf down as she runs. “Not a chance, Flyboy.” Her brow furrows. “You are better in the X-Wing than I am. If we end up in an air fight, I’m more comfortable in the A-Wing.”

He wants to argue, but he knows she’s right. His X-Wing is damn near an extension of his body now, and she has spent a lot of time in his mom’s A-Wing lately. “Damn it, Beautiful. All right. I’ll get in the air and cover you if I need to.” He reaches up and hits his comm. “BB-8, where are they?”

The droid replies that they’re still on the other side of the planet, but that they’re approaching this side and appear to be scanning. Seconds later, he and Rey skid up to their fighters. He’s up into the X-Wing in moments, and he can see her already shutting her canopy and stripping out of her gear so she can fly. Black One is ready, so he lifts off as he finishes wrenching off his coat. He stays low to help avoid the scanning, but he hovers high enough to climb up fast and engage if Rey needs cover.

She gives him a warm wave a moment later, and he releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He watches with relief as she lifts off. Even if they have to engage, they’re much better off now. An alarm sounds next to him, and he sees the ships approaching on the scanner. “Climb, Green One!” He drops into procedure now, and they both shoot upwards.

“Copy, Black Leader.” Some may think it funny, but she is like him – taking it to a place of procedure helps her separate the personal from the fight. At the same time, their bond helps her know what he’s thinking and where he’s going.

Still well inside the atmosphere of the planet, Poe yells, “Incoming, Green One. Take out the shuttle. I’ve got the fighters.”

“I copy.” Rey screams in towards the shuttle in the A-Wing, targeting the cannons first.

As she does, Poe streaks by one of the TIE fighters. They clearly surprise the small convoy, because Poe is able to destroy one very quickly and do some damage to a second one. He swoops past them, cutting hard to turn, banking far more easily than the TIEs can. From flying both of the ones he has stolen, he knows that while the First Order fighters are actually faster than his X-Wing, they aren’t anywhere near as agile.

He glances over, and he sees that Rey has done significant damage to the shuttle. Unfortunately, one of the fighters, the undamaged one, notices too, and it breaks off to head towards Rey. In his head, Poe calls out, “Green One, one of the fighters noticed you! Guns ready!”

The fighter still with him drops in behind him, chasing close. It gets a few shots off at him, one catching a stabilizer. He calls, “BB-8, lock that down!” Knowing that the other ship is firing on Rey, he mutters, “Kriff it,” and he slams on the breaks and drops his ship a few meters low. The already damaged TIE fighter shoots past him, and with two quick shots, the TIE fighter explodes in a fireball. He slams his ship forward then, zooming towards Rey and the shuttle and remaining fighter.

His heart is screaming at him to protect Rey, but his head knows he needs to hit the shuttle first, as it’s more likely to have long-range communications. He forces himself to follow his head. Rey must hear the conflict in him as well as his resolution, as she thinks, “Good choice, Black Leader. I can evade and maybe get this guy.”

Poe nods mostly to himself, and he targets the shuttle. He lands multiple hits his first pass, loops back, and on his second pass he nails the area of the shuttle where the fuel is stored. The shuttle explodes, rocking his X-Wing before Poe slams his throttle forward to go help Rey. He’s almost on them when the TIE fighter pilot must see that he is now outnumbered two-to-one, and he breaks off from chasing Rey to try to escape.

He and Rey both think, “We need to stop him,” at the same time, and they give chase. The A-Wing is a little faster, and she catches the TIE in seconds. He watches with pride and admiration as she destroys the TIE in about three shots, blowing it to pieces before it can break atmosphere.

“Great shot, Beautiful!” he yells. “What’s your status?”

She’s actually breathing hard in the cockpit of the A-Wing. “I’m good, Flyboy. Clipped me once, but all systems are normal. Must have been superficial. You?”

“BB-8, is that stabilizer locked down?” BB-8 beeps out an affirmative, so Poe responds to Rey, “Looks good. We need to get the hell out of here in case they got a message out. Head up and jump to coordinates BB-8 will send. BB-8, find us an empty spot to drop about an hour out of our way, so we can confirm we’re not being followed.”

BB-8 sends them jump coordinates a moment later, and at his direction, Rey jumps first. He follows close behind, and once they’re at light speed, he can feel and hear Rey in his head. He laughs out loud at the first thought he gets from her. “You’re really good at that.”

He grins and shakes his head, thinking back, “You are too, and considering how long I’ve been doing it versus how long you’ve been doing it? You’re going to be better than I am in about a week.”

In the A-Wing, she smirks a little, but she knows that as good as she already is, the tricks and techniques he’s learned from years in the air are something she can’t do on instinct alone. She thinks back, “That’s sweet, but in all seriousness, Flyboy, can we do some training drills together? I want you to teach me a few of those moves, especially the turns.”

“Sounds like fun for me, Beautiful. And of course we can,” he sends the thought to her, and then his mind drops to a buzz for her.

She can tell that he’s working on something, and he pings the thought to her that he’s trying to figure out where BB-8 sent them and how long it will take them to get back to Lah’mu after they confirm they aren’t being followed. She also can feel him mentally flagging, his usual natural energy draining away. She can’t help but think, “How much of an adrenaline high and crash do you get with every battle, Poe?”

He laughs to himself and thinks, “A whole lot of a high. The true crashes are rarer. May have to do with the fact that you were there too.” He can feel her scolding thoughts at that, and he thinks back, “Can’t help it, Beautiful. I can make myself focus on doing what’s tactically right. I cannot make myself stop wanting to protect you.”

In her ship, Rey sighs. She can’t argue with him, because she feels the same way. She thinks back, “Fair enough, Flyboy,” she pauses for a moment, then she muses towards him, “Why do you think they showed up? Maybe they have alarms or sensors that go off? Kylo might’ve had them set one here, thinking I might show up.”

“Seems at least possible,” he responds through their bond, “We’re going to have to be more careful. We’ll have to tell the general, too.” He looks down at his hyperdrive. “Looks like we’re going to drop out in a moment. We can wait a while, then jump to Lah’mu.”

They both go quiet, and Poe reaches into his pocket, wrapping his hand around the crystal. He feels warmth up his arm again. He pulls the crystal out, and in the light of his cockpit, he examines it more carefully. The dominant color of the stone is really not a color, it’s clear. When he turns it and it catches light, that’s when the colors appear. He can’t quite imagine what it might do in a lightsaber. He sits it on the dash in front of him, right in his line of sight.

Thinking about the cave, he smiles at the fact that Rey’s crystal is yellow-gold and thinks how fitting that is. If a person could have a sun to revolve around, she is certainly his.

As that thought crosses his mind, he drops out of light speed. The minute he does, his comm activates and her voice sounds over it. “Flyboy, you cannot think lovely things like that when I can’t immediately kiss you in response. That’s just not nice.”

He chuckles. “Sorry, Beautiful.”

She tsks at him over the comms. “Guess I’ll just have to kiss you stupid when we land.”

He blinks for a moment and then grins. “I look forward to it. And you’re getting way too good at flirting, by the way. I need to tell Connix to stop corrupting you.”

Laughing, she replies, “Actually, Leia taught me that phrase.”

“See, that’s not all right. That’s like you being taught how to get to me by my adoptive mom.” BB-8 lets out an annoyed beep. Poe shakes his head. Their little droid is not fond of being left out of conversations. “Sorry for ignoring you, Buddy. And thank you for the warning earlier.”

BB-8 beeps happily at the acknowledgement, and over comms, Rey adds, “Yes, thank you, little one,” she pauses, adding, “How long do you think we need to wait, Poe?”

He has his eyes glued to his scanner. “Not long. Maybe five or ten minutes. I just want to be sure we don’t end up with company. I think we’re good, though. I don’t think they could be tracking us given that they’re all blown up.”

“Good point,” she acknowledges. They drop into a companionable silence, even BB-8 going quiet. Rey pulls out her crystal, relishing the warmth it generates in her hand. The soft yellow glow of it brings a smile to her face. She’s seen her blue lightsaber, of course, and Kylo Ren’s red one, but never soft gold or yellow. Leia told her about Luke’s, the one he made for himself in place of Anakin’s, that his was green. She wonders idly for a moment what Poe’s will look like.

He must catch the fleeting thought, because over comms, he softly says, “Not sure, Beautiful.” He picks his up from the dash, turning it over in his hands. “Has there ever been a white lightsaber?”

“I don’t know. If Master Luke shows up again, we can ask him.” She thinks about it. “I don’t even know how the color of the blade is determined. I think it’s the crystal to some extent, but the crystal in Anakin’s is mostly clear, while the blade is blue.”

“Good point,” he nods as he continues to examine his, “I do really think it’s interesting the way they called us. I’m amazed that one called me, given my lack of natural ability.”

She thinks about that for a moment. “Well, maybe it’s what I said when I was trying to convince you to do this. Related to your Force ability, regardless of how you got here, here is where you are. Natural ability or not, you’re strongly connected to the Force now. The crystals clearly don’t care where your ability comes from, just that you have it, that you are connected.”

Wrapping his hand tight around the crystal, he sighs at the warmth trailing up his arm. “It would seem so.” He shakes his head and refocuses on his controls and scanning screen. “I think we can go again. I want us to drop out one more time, but I’m all right with it being on our way home. BB-8, see if there’s an unpopulated spot where we can drop out again about halfway there.”

“How far are we?” Rey asks the question over comms.

“Probably two, two-and-a-half hours.” BB-8 transmits coordinates for their next jump to his hyperdrive and over to Rey. Moments later they jump, heading back towards Lah’mu.

With their break halfway there, it takes them just over two-and-a-half hours to make it to Lah’mu. As soon as they hit the system, Poe calls command to be on the safe side. He doesn’t really feel like getting shot down today, and they’re later than they expected to be. “Carrier Holdo, this is Black Leader. Green One and I request permission to approach and land.”

Leia’s voice comes over the comm. Poe frowns. It’s night here by now, and he expected it to be the night crew in command. “Good to have you both back, Colonel. You’re late.”

“Yes ma’am. Some of our First Order buddies showed up just as we were leaving Ilum. Had to take out three TIEs and a shuttle, and then we jumped in the opposite direction from here in case we were being tracked.”

“Are you both all right, Poe?” Leia sounds worried now.

He shakes his head, still occasionally surprised by the affection she displays for him and for Rey. “We are, Leia. Both of us got clipped, but it was superficial. We’re both fine. I’ll get you a report in the morning, if that’s all right?”

“Of course, Colonel. See you both soon. You’re both clear to land in the Holdo’s hangar. Carrier Holdo out.” Leia ends the connection, looking over at Kes. “I told you they were fine.”

He shrugs, relief clear on his face. “With those two, you can never be sure. Trouble follows them like a magnet. He walks over to Leia and squeezes her arm. “I’ll go meet the kids. You go get some rest, old friend. You look exhausted.”

Leia snorts. “Well, a woman never gets tired of hearing that.”

Kes laughs. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right. I’ll see you all in the morning. Tell Poe I said he can have a late start in the morning. They’ve had a long day, too.” She waves her cane at him, gesturing towards the hangar. “Good night, Kes.”

Kes waves back and turns to head down to the hangar. As he arrives, first Rey and then Poe settle their fighters inside. He can see where the A-Wing was hit, away from anything vital, and he can see a scorch mark on Black One as well, near a rear stabilizer. They’re both fine, though, so Kes dismisses the hits as superficial. The ground crew is minimal this time of night, and Poe opens his hatch and waves off the one guy approaching. He hears Poe tell him it can wait until the morning.

Black One shuts down, and Poe drops his ladder and climbs out; he sees that the A-Wing is shutting down, too, and he sees Rey emerge, skipping a ladder and just sliding down the wing. Kes is about to walk over to them when he notices a funny expression on her face. Something between determination and something that makes him raise an eyebrow. She looks like a Yavin 4 jungle cat stalking prey.

Poe turns to her, and it becomes readily apparent to Kes why Poe waved off the ground crew. Poe must have known her intentions before they landed, because he’s obviously not surprised when Rey gets to him. She grabs his jacket and pushes him towards the wall behind them. When Poe’s back hits the wall, an anticipatory grin on his face, Kes isn’t too surprised when Rey presses herself to Poe, their lips meeting in a kiss that makes Kes’s eyes widen.

After a moment, Kes looks away. He’s grinning when BB-8 rolls up to him a moment later. Kes looks down at the droid. “They still at it?”

BB-8’s head looks back at the pair, then looks back up at Kes, beeping out a rather concerned confirmation, noting that he is concerned about their ability to breathe and asking don’t carbon-based life forms require air. Kes chuckles. “They’ll sort it out, BB-8. Why don’t you come with me tonight?” He glances back at his son and Rey, who show no signs of stopping what they’re doing any time soon. “They look…distracted.”

BB-8 beeps out a happy affirmative, and as he rolls along at Kes’s heels, he lets out a series of beeps. Once Kes translates it, he kind of wishes he hadn’t, as it’s along the lines of, “Thank you. When they are distracted like that, they tend to be loud, and it is difficult for me to recharge peacefully.”

Kes shakes his head, now officially knowing far more than he ever wanted to. “Buddy, next time, just come to my quarters. They won’t notice.” The droid bumps his leg affectionately and keeps going, a chuckling Kes following.

Back in the hangar, Poe reluctantly pulls gently away from Rey. He is dazed, and he presses his forehead to hers. They both keep their eyes closed, and both of them are breathing heavily. He knows his thoughts are a muddle right now, and she laughs quietly. He blinks his eyes open, trying unsuccessfully to focus. He gets a half-smile on his face and murmurs, “Mission accomplished, Beautiful.”

She responds by pressing another, far gentler, kiss to his lips. “Just had to stay intent on the goal, Flyboy.”

He shakes his head as she peels herself away from him. They’re both flushed, hair and clothes askew, and from what he can see, her face is rubbed red from his day-old beard. As his head finally begins to clear, he peers around. “I think I saw Dad coming in when we landed, and now he and BB-8 are both gone. Pretty sure we’re going to be teased a lot at breakfast tomorrow.”

“Well then, let’s get our stuff and head to our room. Might as well make the teasing worth it.” She winks at him and heads back to the A-Wing. After collecting their things including their weather gear and crystals, they head back to their room, holding hands and laughing. He can’t help but notice, too, that they both seem to have a different energy. Maybe it’s the crystals. The thought makes him less nervous than he expected it to.

“I’m glad.” She says the words out loud in response to his last thought.

“I am too,” he says, surprising her. He notices her surprise, and he squeezes her hand. “I’m in, Beautiful, I told you that.” They get to their quarters, and she pushes him inside, following and locking the door behind her. Without another word or even much of a coherent thought, she proceeds to show him how much his support means to her.


	4. In Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their adventure on Ilum, Rey and Poe rest, but Rey isn't left to quiet dreaming. A visit from Kylo Ren begins to bring things into sharp relief.

 

A little over an hour later, Rey and Poe are sprawled in their bed, the covers pulled up over their naked bodies. Their new crystals both sit on a small table they moved next to their Force tree saplings, and that whole area of their room glows softly. In the bed, he’s on his back, and she’s curled into his side, arm wrapped possessively across his torso, head on his shoulder.

His hand brushes through her hair, and she sighs in languid contentment. She smiles a moment later. “I’m finally not cold anymore.”

He laughs softly. “I should hope not. If you were, I’m pretty much out of ways to try to fix that.”

She turns and presses a kiss to his shoulder before easing back down. “I’m tired. This was a long day.”

He nods and turns to settle on his side, pulling her in close to his chest and tugging the covers tighter around her. “Sleep, Beautiful.”

She moves in and kisses him again, this time on the lips. “You too, Flyboy. Your day has been just as long as mine.”

“Yes ma’am.” He kisses her forehead, and she snuggles into him. Tangled together, they both drift off, sleep taking them quickly.

“Rey.” A voice picks at the edge of Rey’s mind, low and full of something she can’t quite name. “Wake up, Rey.”

Blinking her eyes, Rey sits up. She panics briefly when she realizes that she’s alone and in a place she doesn’t recognize at first. She looks down at herself, realizing that the clothes she suddenly seems to be wearing are the same clothes she had on when she went to confront Kylo on Snoke’s ship, complete with Anakin’s lightsaber on her belt. She looks around, and she’s mostly unsurprised to see Kylo sitting at the edge of what looks to be the same room where he killed Snoke and they worked together to kill Snoke’s guards, complete with the dead bodies of Snoke and his guards.

“What do you want, Kylo?” She stands, and she can’t help but feel anger burn through her at this invasion of her dreams. She clenches her fist, and her anger intensifies when she realizes that her rings are gone from her left hand. She glares at him, and then she briefly closes her eyes. She manipulates her own image for a moment, pushing him away and adding her rings to the picture.

He doesn’t seem to notice, but she doesn’t care. It was for her, not for him – they are her anchor to reality, and she runs her thumb over them, sighing. But then, he says, “You’re calmer. What did you do?”

She just continues to glare at him. “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

“That’s mature.” He sneers at her.

She rolls her eyes and approaches. “Are you kidding me, Kylo? What do you know of maturity? I want you to leave me alone. Stay out of my head. You’ve been fine without me for months and months. Go away.”

He mostly ignores her, though his eyes do narrow at her dig at his lack of maturity. “Something has been blocking me. It can’t just be you. You’re not strong enough on your own.”

“I’m stronger than you know.” They begin to circle each other, just as they had on Yavin 4. “What do you want, Kylo?”

“So, you really have given up on me. No more Ben, just Kylo.”

“Am I wrong?” She challenges him. “You’ve made your priorities and allegiances more than clear.”

He stops moving for a moment. “You are not wrong about what to call me.” He closes his eyes briefly, then opens them to stare at her. “But you are wrong about not joining me. We could do so much for this galaxy, Rey. We could rule…”

“I do not want to rule anyone!” She gets even closer to him. “People need leaders, not rulers. They need your mother, not you!”

Rage colors his features. “What does a nothing desert rat from Jakku know about it?”

“I know plenty, and I’m not nothing! I don’t need to sit on a throne to be someone. I don’t need to be worshipped or to be perfect. I have people who simply need me to be me.” She doesn’t raise her voice. She’s methodical and direct, her voice never wavering. “We are not defined by our births, by our families. We are defined by who we choose to be, by how we choose to behave. We are defined by who we love and who loves us in return.”

He begins to say something, but she holds up her left hand even as her hand goes to her lightsaber. “You had love. You threw it away because it wasn’t perfect. Then you chose to allow a mistake by Luke to color your entire perception. You choose solitude. You choose a loveless life. I do not.”

Kylo is about to pull his lightsaber when he clearly notices something. He stares intently at her raised hand, and if possible, he goes paler. “What are those?” He points to her hand.

She blinks, unsure for a moment of what he means. His eyes on her hand make a light go on, though. “They’re rings, Kylo.”

He blinks, his brow furrowing. “They’re new.”

She backs away, lowering her hand. “I’ve only been married a little over a week.” She waits for the explosion, but what she receives is an ice storm worthy of the cold on Ilum.

“Married?” His voice is distant and disdainful. “Who…” He blinks, and his eyes narrow. “The pilot. You married that pilot, didn’t you? My dear mother’s ideal child. The one who was with you on Yavin 4, the one whose mind I once dismantled.” He says the last part with a dead-eyed smile, as close to gleeful as he gets these days. “When I encounter him again, I will finish the job. I will destroy his mind completely and then kill what is left. A loss for my mother, and elimination of a clear impediment to us.”

Rey seethes, her lightsaber coming to life as she grips it in her hand. “There is no us. There never was. I just wanted to help you, to be a friend to you. And if you so much as try to damage Poe, I will visit it back on you ten times over, you pathetic, preening piece of bantha fodder.”

“Really, Rey, such a display of anger is so inappropriate for a Jedi. Did Luke teach you nothing at all?” His saber comes to life as he taunts her, and they begin to circle each other again. His sneer returns.

She rolls her eyes again. “He actually taught me precious little when I was with him. We’ve talked a few times since then, though. One thing I’ve come to understand is that I can be angry, I can hurt, I can feel fear, and I can love – and I can do all of those things and still have balance. The balance isn’t you and me. The balance is inside. I do know of the legends and prophecies. The Dark will rise and the Light to meet it. But I think it is bantha fodder, just like you are. If a person, be they Jedi or Sith, cannot balance internally, they rot. That is what makes you weak. You have no concept of grey, only of black and white – but the grey is where we all have to live.”

Poe wakes up when he feels Rey go rigid and tense in his arms. She almost vibrates with it, her eyes screwed shut. The dream she’s caught in scares him. He can’t feel anything clearly, but he can sense anger, frustration, and a tinge of fear. He shakes her gently. “Beautiful? Wake up.” She doesn’t respond, staying still, eyes resolutely shut. He goes to the bond instead. He thinks, “Rey, please. Open your eyes. Please.”

She still doesn’t respond, and he looks around frantically, his mind racing. He’s trying to think of a way to reach her when his eyes land on the glowing crystals next to the Force tree saplings. He moves out of their bed, crawling over her unmoving form. As he moves across the room, he grabs his sleep pants off the back of the chair at the small desk in the room. He pulls them on, thinking that he needs to be at least partially dressed if he has to go get help, likely from Leia.

He grabs their crystals and brings them back to the bed. He also grabs the shirt, stolen from him ages ago, that she usually wears to bed. Again thinking about if they need help, he pulls the shirt over her head and works her arms through it. She doesn’t stir at all, even as he moves her around. He can see her eyes moving under her lids, so he knows she’s in there.

He perches on the edge of the bed, frowns, and presses a kiss to her forehead. He holds his own crystal in his right hand, and he then presses her crystal into her right hand, holding it there with his left. He touches his forehead to hers, closes his eyes, and whispers, “Come on, Beautiful. Bring me to you. Let me help you. Now.”

Back in her dream, Rey continues to circle Kylo, and she twirls her lightsaber in her hand. As she does, she feels something shift between her and Kylo, and a flash surprises her. As she finishes her words about balance, the light blue color of her saber slowly, progressively changes from base to tip. A soft yellow-gold slowly envelopes the blade, and the saber casing in her hand transforms into something simple but elegant, conforming perfectly to the shape of her hand.

Kylo frowns at the change, and he begins to move directly towards Rey, clearly irritated by what he thinks of as the continued manipulation of his space, his dream. Poe blinks his eyes open, finding himself in what looks like a blend of a throne room and a massacre. He’s surprised to look down and see a lightsaber in his hand instead of his kyber crystal, and he’s dressed in his usual clothes, boots, cargo pants, shirt, and leather jacket.

Kylo raises his saber as if to strike Rey, his face a picture of incandescent rage. “I will not allow you to manipulate this. Your blade is blue. We both know that, desert rat.”

Before she can move into a defensive stance, Poe finds his voice. He activates his saber, moving instinctively as the blade, almost pure white, comes to life, and he begins to advance on them. “Get the hell away from my wife, Kylo. And her name isn’t desert rat – it’s Rey Dameron.”

Rey’s heart flips over in her chest as she steps back from Kylo. She turns towards the sound of Poe’s voice, but only enough to see both him and Kylo in her field of vision. Her breath catches at the sight of him. He moves the blade, and her breath catches again. The blade of his saber stays white, but as it moves it flashes light blues, purples, and greens, all fleeting and ephemeral. She breathes out, “Like flying.”

Poe smiles at her. The expression is tight, but genuine. “And yours is like the sun.”

Kylo freezes in place, his eyes widening. “This is impossible.”

“Apparently not.” Poe spins his saber, moving entirely on instinct again. Somehow, he just knows how to move the lightsaber as if it’s an extension of his arm. He knows that’s probably the dream, but he’ll take it.

“You two were the ones who set off the alarms on Ilum.” Kylo’s eyes narrow.

“Got it in one. Good for you. Sorry about the ships we blew up,” Poe continues to advance menacingly. “Now, I’ll say it again. Get the hell away from my wife.”

“Just because you managed to surprise me once and take my saber, do you really think you have a chance against me, Pilot?” Kylo says the last word laden with derision. “I’ve been in your head. I know you don’t.”

Poe flinches slightly, but he doesn’t lower his saber or back down in the least. Rey feels the pain that the memory brings Poe, and she turns angry again. She wants to advance on Kylo, but then something occurs to her. “He doesn’t!”

Poe and Kylo both pause and look at her, and Kylo hisses, “He doesn’t what?”

She spins to stand with Poe, and then she nods to him before replying, “He doesn’t have a chance against you, Kylo,” Kylo starts to scoff, but she goes on, “But we do. We have a chance against you. Our strength is in who we are together. And we are leaving this messed up world that is your head. I want no part of this any longer. You will stay out of my head. If you try to pull me in again like this, I will not hesitate to…”

He cuts her off. “What? You’ll not hesitate to kill me?”

She scoffs, shaking her head. “Hell no. I won’t hesitate to let him kill you.” She thrusts out her hand, pushing Kylo backwards. He flies across the room, slamming into the throne that was Snoke’s. “Good-bye, Kylo. When next I see you, it will be for us to face you in the real world, not this sick fantasy. You made your choices. Now you can live with them.” She douses her saber and takes Poe’s free hand. “Let’s get out of here, Flyboy.”

Even as Rey entwines her fingers with Poe’s and they both close their eyes, she hears Kylo’s anguished cry. The sound disappears as the world goes silent, save for their heavy breathing. Poe’s eyes fly open, and Rey’s do the same.

Without a single thought in his head, Poe surges forward, pulling her against his once-again bare chest in a bruising embrace. They are back home, safe and alone in their quiet room. Their crystals fall to the blanket even as she begins to shake, clinging to him. There are a million things she could say, but all she manages is, “Thank you for coming for me.”

He can’t muster words, so instead he holds her as close as he can and thinks, “There is no place you can go that I won’t come for you, my Rey.” He climbs back into the bed with her, pulling her into his lap to keep her close, and they sit there until the weak Lah’mu sun begins to filter through their window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Shorter than my usual, but it felt like the right place to stop. Still no idea how this one ends, but I feel it has a ways to go yet.
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.


	5. He Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey have to tell Kes and Leia about the dream, and Poe is reminded of something that sends him off-balance until a surprise visitor show up to help him right himself.

 

 

A sound in the hallway outside of their quarters makes Poe jump, almost dislodging Rey from his lap. After her dream, they’d curled up together on the bed. Even though he’d been able to reach her and despite her confidence in the dream, the thought that next time he might not be able to rattled them both. Neither had really gone fully back to sleep, but she was dozing peacefully in his lap when he jumped.

She blinks a few times. “Is everything all right?”

He nods, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Yes. Sorry, someone made a noise out in the hall, and I guess I’m a little on edge.”

“Did you sleep at all?” She looks up at him, worry in her eyes. “You didn’t, did you?”

“Maybe a little. It was just unsettling when I woke up last night and couldn’t wake you.” He brushes her hair back from her face.

She leans into him, kissing his lips. He pulls her tight to him, and they break apart enough for her to rest her forehead against his. He smiles. “What was that for?”

She returns the smile, saying, “For figuring out how to get to me and for having the guts to do it.”

“It was a shot in the dark, Beautiful. If it hadn’t worked, I was calling Leia. She’s the only other person here who I thought might be able to help,” he pauses, “We need to go tell her what happened.”

Rey wants to protest, but she knows he’s right. “I know. Let’s get cleaned up and go see her.”

He shifts her off of his lap and stands. She finds their crystals on the bed, and she passes them to him to put back on the table by the trees. “I really hope our real lightsabers are the same colors as the ones from the dream.” She rises, arching her back in a stretch.

He smiles. “Me too. Now come on, shower for both of us. I’ll wash your hair for you.” At her smirk, he shakes his head. “Sorry, Beautiful. I’m too tired for that to be a euphemism for anything.”

Taking his hand and chuckling, she pulls him towards the refresher. She gets a soft smile and a nod from him when she thinks that at least their experience in the dream didn’t damage their ability to tease and simply enjoy each other. As the move into the refresher, he lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss to the back of hers. “It’ll take a hell of a lot more than a sullen supreme leader to do that, Beautiful.”

Less than an hour later, they venture out, intending to stop by the mess for caf and ration bars and then to go find Leia. They both have their respective kyber crystals in their pockets, having picked them up almost simultaneously without discussing it. Regardless of their teasing earlier, Rey is shaken. She keeps thinking about waking up in the throne room with Kylo there. Poe can see her thoughts, and he tucks her protectively close to him as they walk.

Halfway to the mess, they encounter a smirking Kes, BB-8 at his heels. Kes lifts a teasing eyebrow at them. “So, did you two have a good night?”

Rey grips Poe’s hand tight in hers, shrugging and nearly hiding in Poe’s side. Poe tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he replies for them. “Not exactly, Dad.”

Kes’s joking demeanor falls away instantly. “What’s wrong?”

Poe looks at Rey, wanting to be sure that she’s all right with Kes knowing about the dream. He can hear her think that it’s fine, but she also says, “It’s all right, Flyboy. Let’s get breakfast, and he can come with us to go see Leia.”

“Something happened that the general needs to know about?” Kes’s eyes track between the two of them, and even BB-8 emits a worried beep.

“Dad, you’ll hear it all when we tell Leia. I don’t think either of us is up for explaining this multiple times.” Poe shakes his head.

It clearly bothers Kes, whose parental instincts have kicked into high gear. Poe can tell; he saw the anxious look on his dad’s face more than once as a kid, especially after his mom died. It’s quiet in the mess, so Poe motions to an empty table. “Beautiful, why don’t you and BB wait here. Dad and I will get the caf and food.” Even as he says the words, he thinks, “Dad needs some reassurance. Can I talk to him for a minute?”

Rey nods, sitting. “Of course.” She actually feels a little relieved that Kes will get a preview. Poe feels her relief, and he sends her one of their warm waves in response.

“Come on, Dad.” He takes him to the serving line, but Poe stops them just before they get there. “Dad, wait.”

Kes turns, and Poe can see that he’s glad they’re going to talk. “Poe, what the hells happened? I saw you two in the hangar last night. How did you go from…that, to this? You’re both visibly shaken.”

Poe sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “We went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, Rey just went rigid. I was holding her, and it woke me up.” He blinks.

“What was going on?” Kes prompts him gently.

“She was dreaming, but I couldn’t wake her up. I talked to her, I used our Force bond, but nothing. She was trapped in the dream.” Poe sighs. “I was about to call Leia when I had an idea.” Without a lot of detail, he explains what happened. “We got out of the dream fine, but we’re both unsettled.”

Kes blinks a few times, then he draws Poe into a tight hug. Poe clings to him in a way he hasn’t since he was a boy. After a few moments, he steps back. It’s briefly awkward until Poe exhales softly and says, “I’m really glad you’re here, Dad. I’m pretty sure Rey could use a hug like that, too.”

Kes squeezes Poe’s shoulder. “She’ll get one.”

They move into the food area, and Kes gets caf for the three of them and for Leia while Poe grabs two ration bars and a small box of fruit that he knows Rey likes. Kes beats him out of the line, and when Poe gets back to the table where they left Rey, the tray of caf is there on the table and Kes has Rey wrapped up in a hug. She clings tight to him, and Poe is once again grateful that his dad is here with them.

Rey had been surprised when Kes emerged and put down the tray in order to pull her into a hug. But her surprise had melted into gratitude in seconds. She melted into the embrace, clinging to him like he could be an anchor. She knows that Poe feels as out of sorts as she does, and Kes is a steadying influence for them both. She’d known the moment Kes had hugged Poe like this, only because Poe had the same release of tension and fear that she just did.

Poe approaches them, BB-8 rolling to him and gently bumping his leg, beeping worriedly. Poe puts the food on the table, and he crouches down and pats the little droid on the head. “We’re both all right, Buddy.” BB-8 beeps again, and Poe chuckles and shakes his head. “Yes, I promise.”

Kes and Rey break apart, both laughing softly. Rey smiles, looking a little steadier. Poe straightens and pulls her into his side, thinking, “You all right?”

She nods and thinks back, “Yes. Hugs from Dad are actually quite helpful.”

Poe grins, thinking, “I agree, but don’t tell him. It’ll go to his head.”

“Of course. Can’t have that.” She grins back as she thinks the words back at him.

“You know, you two, that gets really annoying after a while.” They both jump at the sound of Kes’s voice. He is holding the tray, the food now added to it. He’s smirking, though, his eyes revealing his amusement. “I called Leia. She’s going to meet us in the briefing room near the bridge.”

With a sheepish smile, Poe replies, “Thanks, Dad.”

Based on what even Rey and Kes have started calling his “happy beeps,” BB-8 seems pleased that all of his people are now laughing. He trills a little, and then he leads the way out of the mess towards the bridge. Kes follows behind him, but not before Poe snags one of the cups of caf, a ration bar, and the fruit from the tray.

As they walk, Poe passes the fruit to Rey and takes a bite out of the ration bar, wincing slightly at the taste. He chases it with a swallow of the caf, making it more palatable. Rey picks at the fruit and takes his caf from him, taking a sip. She trades the fruit for the bar, and they go back and forth like that as they walk, never speaking or even exchanging thoughts. They both feel at ease despite the unrest of earlier, the simple act of sharing breakfast calming them down.

Kes watches them out of the corner of his eye, and Poe notices the small smile on his face. When he catches Kes’s eye and gives him a questioning look, Kes shrugs and says softly, “You two remind me of me and your mom.”

Kes keeps walking, and Poe knows he’s not looking for a response. He thinks that at Rey, and she nods slightly, a sweet smile on her face. She tosses the now-empty fruit box in a trash bin, taking the caf from him again.

His hand goes to her lower back, something he’s done since the first night they met up on the platform at their first base after Crait, the night they first forged their connection via the Force. He shakes his head. Never in a million standard years would he have guessed he’d be lucky enough to have her as his wife just several months later. She hears his thought, and she moves her free hand to cover his on her back, entwining their fingers and squeezing lightly.

They’re almost the same height, so she leans her head on his shoulder as they walk. “I’m lucky too, you know.” She says the words out loud, though soft enough so that only he can hear. He just turns his head and drops a kiss on top of hers.

They get to the room where they’re meant to meet Leia, and they go in and settle at the small conference table. Rey’s hand stays firmly in his, and she sits as close to him as she can. His proximity makes her feel safe, even if she knows it might be an illusion.

Leia joins them a moment later, a concerned expression on her face. Poe often forgets how easily she can sense their emotions, so he’s more surprised than he ought to be when Leia frowns and says, “What did Kylo do now?” She picks up the cup of caf they brought for her and sits down.

Poe looks at Rey. “Me, Beautiful?” She nods, grateful that he’s willing to do the talking. He turns to Leia and takes the next fifteen minutes explaining everything that happened, from him waking to find her trapped in the dream. She does occasionally interject details, including choosing to add her rings to her image in the dream, something that makes Poe squeeze her hand and brush a kiss to her temple.

When they finish, Rey adds softly, “I’m sorry I told him that we’re married. It didn’t occur to me that he wanted me that way, just that he wanted me to help him rule the galaxy. I’m so naïve.” She looks up at Poe. “I’m sorry, Flyboy. He hates you. I put you at risk.”

“No.” Leia shakes her head. “It’s my fault. Mine and Han’s.” She looks from Kes to Poe. “When you were eight and Ben was five, we came for a visit shortly after Shara passed.”

“I remember,” Kes says softly, “I was in a fog. I asked you to come, didn’t I? I think I did. I was lost, and I was worried about Poe, who’d taken to not talking and just sitting up in the Force tree. He’d come down every once in a while to eat and change clothes, but he stayed up there for days.”

Rey looks worriedly at Poe. He just looks down at their joined hands, tracing his mother’s ring with a finger from his free hand. He quietly corrects Kes. “It was two weeks. I stayed up there for nearly two weeks.” He sighs. “I loved that tree because Mom loved that tree. Sitting up there felt like a way to hold on to her a little longer.”

“Oh, kid.” Poe looks up at his dad. “You never told me that.”

Poe shrugs and tries to smile. “I knew you felt bad. I didn’t want you to feel worse.”

“You were eight, Poe. You were allowed to need help with what happened.”

Rey is surprised by the conversation. She and Poe have talked a lot about her childhood, but outside of the mostly-happy memories he has shared with her, he hasn't shared all that much. She almost forgets now and then that he lost his mom when he was young. Poe reaches towards his dad with his free hand, wrapping it around one of Kes’s hands. “Dad, it really was all right. I think I needed to process it, no matter how young I was.”

Kes nods, turning his hand over in Poe’s and gripping it tight for a moment before releasing it. He then looks at Leia. “General, what did you mean that Kylo hating Poe is yours and Han’s fault?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Poe was so good with Ben during that trip. He actually came down from the tree to show it to Ben, who was barely five.” She looks at Poe. “You even helped him climb the tree and sat up there with him for hours.”

Poe shakes his head, murmuring, “That time is such a blur in my mind.”

Kes frowns. “But I still don’t understand why that would make him hate Poe.”

“It didn’t. I did, in a way, and Han endorsed it. We thought the boys were out in the tree when we were talking about Poe. I told you that I thought he’d be fine, that he just needed time and space.” She sighs again. “Then, I commented that Poe had been such a sweet, easy baby and toddler. Han agreed, and he mentioned that even during the war, we spent time with you, and that he remembered taking Poe flying in the Falcon.”

“He did?” Poe blinks. “I don’t remember that.”

Leia nods and smiles faintly. “Kes and Shara were both on missions, Shara with me. Han, of all people, offered to look after you, with Chewie’s help, of course. It’s probably the real reason Chewie didn’t kill you when you and Rey first got together. He is a softie, and he was a major softie for baby Poe. There are probably holos somewhere of him carrying you around.”

Poe and Rey exchange a smile at that, and Leia goes on, “Anyway, you were maybe one-and-a-half, but even then, Han said you were reaching for the controls.” Her smile fades. “What we didn’t know when we were talking was that Ben had come down from the tree and was in the hallway. He heard us.”

“Kriff.” Kes frowns. “And he thought you were saying that you wished he was more like Poe, right?”

“Yes.” Leia shakes her head. “And it wasn’t so, but he didn’t even tell us he’d heard us until years later, when he and Han were fighting about something. He made some reference about not being the perfect child like Poe was, and we were both baffled. And then he told us what he’d heard. There was so much venom in his voice.” Leia blinks back tears. “I wish I’d known what he’d heard and assumed back when it happened. I could have tried to fix it. As it was, it had festered for years. There was no mending it.”

Poe had gone silent as Leia spoke, and Rey is concerned, as she feels pain and confusion rolling off of him in waves. When Leia and Kes go quiet, already afraid she knows the answer, Rey softly asks, “Flyboy, are you all right?”

“No.” His answer makes Leia and Kes look over at him, but he is staring at his hand wound around Rey’s. He blinks a few times. “He knew.”

Leia furrows her brow, and Kes looks equally confused. “Knew what?” Leia presses gently.

Poe’s breathing has gone ragged, and Rey is increasingly concerned by it. He responds brokenly, “He knew who I was, probably remembered that day when he tortured me after capturing me on Jakku.” He stands up suddenly, releasing Rey’s hand and heading for the door.

Before he leaves, he stops and says, “I was nice to him. I remember it now. I just remembered a kid – I didn’t realize it was Ben until you told the story.” He looks at Leia sadly. “I wanted nothing more than to be alone, but he was a little kid, he wanted to see the tree, and so I helped him. I’d just lost my mom, but I was nice to him.”

With that, he opens the door and bolts, a concerned BB-8 right at his heels. He’s reminded of the night he’d encountered Rey on the platform at the post-Crait base – he is panicking, and he needs air and open space. He feels like he can’t breathe. So, he heads for the outside as fast as he can. He can feel worry from Rey, but he knows she’ll follow him in a moment, so he keeps going.

Back in the room, Leia drops her face into her hands. “Force, I’m sorry, you two. Poe didn’t need that.”

Rey stands. “He’ll be fine, General. I’ll admit it, though. I now despise myself for not understanding how broken, how far gone Kylo is. I wish, for you, Leia, that it wasn’t so, but I do think now that he’s irrevocably lost to the Dark Side.”

Rey considers her next words, wanting to respect Poe’s privacy but also wanting them to understand. “I know he told both of you, Kes you in more detail, what Kylo did. But I don’t know if you appreciate how bad it was, how much damage he did to Poe. He hides it well, but when Kylo taunted him with it in the dream last night, it was like re-opening an unhealed wound and pouring salt in it. He’s much better than he was when I met him, but he still struggles with it sometimes. Sometimes the nightmares come back. Maybe one day they won’t. But he didn’t even try to go back to sleep last night, just sat there for hours holding me.”

Neither Kes nor Leia can respond. They’re both surprised by her words, which actually doesn’t surprise her. Poe hides pain well, at least from everyone but her. “In the dream last night, I told Kylo that his problem is that he sees everything in black and white, but that we have to actually live in the grey. This wasn’t your fault, Leia. He heard you say how great a baby Poe was. To Kylo’s black and white mind, he took that to mean that he was not. Either/or. He never would understand that either way is just fine. His world is…binary, for lack of a better term. So, don’t beat yourself up over this, Leia.”

As Rey leaves, Kes stands and goes over to Leia. “Old friend, she’s right. You didn’t mean anything bad that day when you were talking to me.”

Leia shakes her head. “On some level, that’s true. But were there days where I wanted Ben to be just a little easier? Yes. I can’t deny that.” She looks at Kes. “But I never wished for a different child until maybe right now. I’m sure Poe is right. Ben knew, and he did what he did anyway. He’s been cruel and terrible, but this? This is horrifying. To torture someone the way he did Poe and then taunt him with it later? That’s personal. That can’t be blamed on Snoke or Snoke’s influence.”

Kes just takes her hand and sits there with her. He knows there isn’t anything he can say to fix this for her. She’s his oldest friend, one of the only ones left who remembers the first Rebellion. Other than Poe and Chewie, she may be the only one left who remembers Shara. She sniffles a little. “You can go after Poe, Kes. I’ll be fine. I always find a way to be fine.”

Kes shakes his head. “Rey will look after him. She’s what he needs right now, not me. And you get to have support sometimes too, Leia. Hells, Shara would skin me alive if I left you on your own right now.” Leia doesn’t respond, just tightens her hand in his. That’s all the confirmation he needs that she wants him to stay. He settles back in his chair. “That’s what I thought. It’s all right to need friends now and then. You don’t have to be so damned self-reliant all the time, Leia.”

“Now you sound like Han,” she whispers. “Force, I miss him and Luke.” Kes nods, and she leans towards him, their shoulders bumping. “And Shara too. I miss them all.”

After a moment, Kes says, “Did I ever tell you about the time that Shara set the kitchen on fire?”

“No. This I have to hear.” She smiles a little and is laughing as he recounts the tale of his late wife, amazing fighter, even better pilot, even better mother, but terrible cook.

++++++++

Bidding BB-8 to wait for him inside the hangar, Poe stumbles outside into the cool Lah’mu morning. It’s misting as usual, and he heads to the rock where he sat with Leia yesterday morning. He shakes his head. How was that just a day ago? He feels sick, can’t believe that Kylo likely knew precisely who he was torturing.

He gets to the rock and drops onto it, running his hands through his now-damp hair. He’s not sure why this bothers him so much, but it does. “It was easier when you thought you were a real stranger to him, I imagine.”

Poe looks up sharply. He knows he didn’t speak, and he can tell that Rey is still with Leia and Kes. He turns and scoots back instinctively, reaching for his blaster. A man stands there, tinged in blue light the way Luke had been at the Force tree back on Yavin 4. But it’s not Luke. The man in front of him is older than Luke was, and his eyes have a knowing twinkle. Instead of grabbing his blaster, Poe blinks and reaches his hand into his pocket, wrapping his hand around his crystal.

The man shakes his head, coming over and sitting next to Poe on the rock. “I’d guess that crystal is helping you see me, though I’m not sure why the Force sent me to talk to you about my namesake.”

Poe finds his voice. “Namesake?”

“Ben Solo.” He looks at Poe. “I’m Ben Kenobi. Obi-Wan to most, but Ben to Luke Skywalker.”

“You’re Obi-Wan Kenobi?” Poe blinks in shock.

The man chuckles. “Last time I checked, yes.” He reaches over and puts a glowing hand on Poe’s shoulder, and Poe starts slightly when he can actually feel the touch. “And though I hate to admit it, now that I think of it and hear your thoughts, I do know why the Force sent me.”

“Why? And why did the Force send anyone? It’s not like I’m a Jedi.” Poe shakes his head.

“On your second question, I’ve learned that the Force does rather what it wants to. It favors you, and it seems to not care that your skill is learned as opposed to natural. You’ll never be a Jedi, which I know you’ve said, but your relationship with the Force isn’t that of a Jedi. It actually reminds me of Jyn Erso and of Chirrut Imwe.” Obi-Wan looks thoughtful.

“Two of the heroes of Scarif?”

“Indeed. They both were strongly connected to the Force, though neither was a Jedi.” The old man nods. “As for why the Force sent me, well, I am the one who tried and failed at training Anakin Skywalker. I more than most know that once the Dark takes hold, it’s difficult to shake.”

Poe stands up and paces. “Maybe so, but there is something different about this. He knew who I was, knew I’d been kind to him as a child, and he didn’t care. In fact, now that I keep replaying it in my head, I think he may have even attacked more viciously because of who I am.”

“Did you know that Anakin nearly choked his wife, Padme Amidala, to death? She was pregnant with Luke and Leia, and he nearly choked her to death. She died shortly after childbirth. I think she died of a broken heart. In fact, I know she did. She gave up.” Obi-Wan shakes his head. “And the reason he attacked her was the mistaken belief that I was having an affair with her. I did love Padme, but not like that. She was a kind, wonderful woman I was proud to call my friend.”

Obi-Wan pauses, and then he looks at Poe. “I know how much Ani loved Padme, and yet he attacked her savagely. The Dark tells those under its influence all kinds of lies. It relies on jealousy and hate to get its way. It convinced Kylo Ren that your light was why he was distant from Han and Leia, when it was his darkness that truly drove the wedge. But he blames you for being what he wasn’t. The fact that you were kind in the midst of your darkest days actually makes that worse, not better.”

Poe sinks back down on the rock and stares at the ground. “You make me sound like a saint. I’ve made bad choices. A lot of them, Master Kenobi.”

“Poe, look at me,” Obi-Wan demands. When Poe finally does, he goes on, “So do we all. Did you learn from them? The bad choices, the mistakes, did they teach you things?” The wizened old Jedi arches an eyebrow at him.

“I think you know they did.” Poe cringes.

“I do. Leia wouldn’t have you second-in-command if you hadn’t.” He reaches out and squeezes Poe’s shoulder again. “I know what happened with Kylo still haunts you. Don’t let it. Don’t give him that power. Rey was right in the dream last night, too. The two of you? Are very powerful together. You focus her, and she strengthens you. You two are a formidable combination.”

“Poe?” Poe looks up in surprise at the sight of Rey standing there. He’d been so absorbed in talking to Obi-Wan that he didn’t even notice Rey heading towards him.

He stands again, as does the Force ghost. “Beautiful.”

“Who is this?” Having encountered the Force ghost of Luke before, she at least knows this is normal for the Force.

“Padawan Dameron, Rey, I am Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He actually bows slightly to her. “I am honored to meet you, young one.”

Rey blinks a few times. “You’re Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan chuckles and even Poe cracks a smile. “Your husband here asked the precise same question, so as I said to him, last time I checked, yes. Now, I should go. Colonel, are you doing a bit better?”

Poe nods. “I am. Thank you, Master Kenobi.”

“You’re more than welcome, Colonel. If you two need help building your new lightsabers, you know you can ask. I feel sure that one of us will show up. If you want to try to make something with style, call Mace Windu. He might show up. He had the only purple lightsaber I ever saw. It was quite something.” With a twinkle in his eye again, Obi-Wan bows slightly to them both. “You two take care. Help is always nearby, you know.”

They both nod, and Obi-Wan fades away. Rey looks at Poe, and she’s very happy to note that his demeanor has lightened considerably. She sits next to him on the rock, pulling her jacket close around her. “Are you all right, Flyboy? You seem better.”

He reaches out and takes one of her hands in his. “I am better, Beautiful. Master Kenobi helped a lot. He helped me put a lot of things into context.”

“How? What did he say?” Rey can’t hide her curiosity.

Poe tries to think about how to explain it, and, enjoying the surprised look on her face, he just says, “Did you know that Ben Solo was named after Obi-Wan?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: A bit of angst. Not my norm, so I hope I did all right with it. 
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.


	6. From Dream to Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe struggles a little with all of the recent changes to his life, and Rose builds something for both Rey and Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Sorry this took longer than usual! I was without internet until tonight due to last week's snow in the northeastern US, so I had to bang most of this out on my iPad (due to that, may see more typos than usual!) – also, have a question that’s in the notes at the end of this!
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.

Rey and Poe are still outside on the rock when Kes comes looking for them. He’d done his best to get Leia laughing before she shoo’ed him away, doing so only after a quiet, sincere thank you. Now he’s anxious to check on Poe. He told Leia that Rey could look after him, but while that’s true, he needs to know that his boy is all right.

He sees the kids (because as far as he’s concerned, Rey is his kid too now) deep in conversation as he approaches them with a direct from a worried BB-8. Poe no longer looks upset, which makes Kes breathe a sigh of relief. He’d never before seen Poe the way he was earlier, agitated and on the edge of panic. That’s not how Poe handles things, at least not usually. While he tends to be emotional, he isn’t one to fall apart.

Feeling reassured and wanting to give them privacy, he turns to head back in. Poe’s voice stops him. “Dad, it’s all right. You can come over here.”

Kes turns back, happier than he expected to be invited. When he gets to them, Poe stands up and gives him a hug. “I’m all right, Dad.”

They separate, and Kes examines him. He’s visibly calmer, all the anxiety gone. Remembering their earlier conversation, Kes swallows hard and puts a hand on Poe’s cheek. For a moment, he feels like he’s Poe’s age and Poe is eight again. “I wish you’d come to me, kid. I wish you’d let me help you.”

Poe knows that he’s referencing what Poe had said about spending two weeks in the tree, trying hard to hold onto his mom. He reaches up and wraps a hand around Kes’s wrist. “Dad, I promise you it was as all right as it could have been. I was in shock, and you were too. We did the best we could, and it was enough. It really was. I knew you were there, I knew that if I came down and needed to talk, you would have been there. That was enough.”

Kes looks somewhat reassured at Poe’s words, but Poe can tell that they’ll likely revisit this in the future. Rey comes over and joins them, letting Kes give her a half hug and pull her to his side. “How did you settle him down?”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Poe smirks at Kes, “And she didn’t.”

Kes lifts and eyebrow at that, looking from Poe to Rey and back to Poe. “Then who did?”

Poe shakes his head. “You might want to sit down for this one, Dad.”

Kes complies, and ten minutes later, he is gaping at Poe as Rey sits next to him, giggling. She says, “Flyboy, I think you broke him.”

Poe snorts, but Kes just blinks and asks, “So now you both can see dead people?”

“Jedi never really die,” they respond in unison, exchanging a look and laughing out loud.

After a moment, Kes shrugs and says. “All right. Next time one of you sees Luke, tell him he still owes me a bottle of Corellian Rum over that bet I made with him about Leia and Han.”

There’s little else that Kes could have said that would’ve reassured Poe more about Kes being all right with this new facet of his life. He just grins and nods. “Will do, Dad.”

After a moment, Kes grunts and stands back up. “Can we go back inside now? I’m freezing my ass off.”

Standing up and offering Rey a hand to pull her up, Poe just laughs. “Dad, how the hells did you survive on Hoth?”

“I wore about eight layers. And that’s when I was inside.” He smirks. “And I had your mom to help me stay warm.” His smirk turns to a leering grin. “Pretty sure you were conceived there, kid.”

“Damn, Dad. I did not need to know that.” Poe cringes.

Rey cackles as they head inside, enjoying Poe’s distress until she suddenly sees what he’s desperately trying to not picture in his head. She stops laughing, and she elbows him. “Flyboy, I think I may have liked it better when you’d block me by default.”

“Hey, I was blocking you, trying to spare you. Then you laughed at me.” He lifts an eyebrow at her. “Sharing is caring, Beautiful.”

Kes just shakes his head and laughs at their back-and-forth, relieved that the mood from earlier has lifted. He also marvels at the notion that his kid spent part of the last hour chatting with a Force ghost. He also really hopes they actually do tell Luke about the damned rum that he really does owe Kes, if only because he really wants to know how a Force ghost would make good on a bet.

As they get into the hangar, Finn and Rose are there waiting with BB-8, and Rose clearly is excited about something. Kes mentions that he has a training session to run, so he heads off to the area of the ship they have set aside for that purpose. They all agree to meet up for dinner that evening, and then Rey moves ahead, meeting Rose. “What’s going on, Rose?”

She grins. “I’ve been working on something since yesterday, but it was an idea I had weeks ago.”

At Rey’s quizzical expression, Rose goes on, “I kept thinking that the replacement casing we made for the original saber you had was too cumbersome. While it’s also strong, the metal is too heavy, and the design is awkward.”

She beckons to them to follow her to a data terminal. She pulls up a technical spec, and Rey gasps. The image in front of her is almost precisely a match to the saber casing from her dream last night. “How did you know, Rose?”

“Know?” The little mechanic looks surprised. “What do you mean?”

Rey glances at Poe. “So, it looks like the dream was a premonition, too, because that looks exactly like my saber casing from last night.”

Poe blinks, trying to remember something. His brow furrows. “You know, Beautiful, I never looked at the casing for mine, but it felt different in my hand than your blue one – more fitted, like it was almost designed specifically for me. And it was lighter than the blue one is.”

They both look back to Rose, who is staring at them. Finn just looks confused. Rose looks back and forth between them before saying, “I was going to tell you that the new alloy I’ve been working with would be something I can design to fit your hands and that it’s lighter.” She looks at Rey and asks her question right back to her. “How did you know?”

Poe motions to Finn and Rose, takes Rey by the hand, and leads them all over to a group of crates. BB-8 rolls after them, sticking close to Rey and Poe. Once they all settle on the crates, Poe and Rey give them a summary of their dream the night before.

Finn eyes narrow immediately, concern darkening his expression. “Why the hells won’t he leave you alone, Rey?”

She sighs. “He sees me as what he needs to balance his darkness. He thinks I am misguided in my lack of interest, though I’m pretty sure now that he also sees me as something he’d intended to own.”

Poe reaches over and entwines his fingers with hers. Finn and Rose both look confused for a moment, but then they both seem to understand at the same time. Finn jumps up. “Oh hells no!”

“My thoughts exactly, Finn.” Poe scowls, tightening his hand in Rey’s.

Rose stays mostly calm, though Rey can see the fire in her eyes. “Are you all right, Rey?”

Rey nods. “I am. We both are.” She squeezes Poe’s hand in response to his tightened grip. “Shaken, but we’ll rally. Now enough of that. How quickly can we get our casings made?”

Rose looks at Finn. “A couple of days?”

Finn nods. “I think so. Maybe faster.” At the questioning looks from Rey and Poe, he explains, “I’m helping Rose. The metal work is something I’ve done before. We need to make molds of your hands, though. That way we can make them tailored to each of you. Ready to get started?”

Rey and Poe nod and follow Finn, who stands and heads towards a shop he has set up with Rose. Poe keeps his hand wrapped around Rey’s as they walk, tracing her rings with his thumb. While he may have been hesitant about this a day ago, he’s one hundred percent certain of it now. Rey smiles and raises their linked hands, dropping a kiss to the back of his. She’s glad he’s on board.

Over the next two days as they go about their daily routines, him in planning sessions with Leia and the leadership, Rey training, they both carry their crystals with them everywhere they go. For Poe in particular, it’s an odd sensation. They spend time in the training rooms they have set up going through motions with Anakin’s lightsaber, which Poe finds heavy and unwieldy – it’s weird when your only other memory of using a lightsaber is from a dream. It’s hard to determine if the comparison is real or imagined.

Even so, Rey promises him that he’s getting better with it. The interesting part, something he’s discussed with Rey, Leia, and with the doctor, is that he hasn’t had even the inkling of a headache since acquiring his crystal. Pushing his way into Rey’s dream-meeting with Kylo Ren seems like it alone should have triggered issues, and that combined with connecting with a kyber crystal feels like he should have been curled up in the corner fighting off a raging migraine.

But there was nothing – not even a twinge. It’s not like he wanted it to hurt, just that he was prepared for it to hurt. Rey is the one who suggested that he talk to the doctor, Leia, or both. He went with both. The doctor visit had been the most interesting. He’d been due for his last follow-up after the severe concussion he sustained in a firefight during their escape from an ambush on Endor. The doctor had scanned him multiple times as he peppered her with questions about his scans after his first round of Force-related headaches and nosebleeds, a watchful BB-8 standing by.

When he realized she was on her third scan, muttering to herself, he’d said, “Doc, you’re making me nervous. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” She’d stared at him. “Absolutely nothing.”

He’d cocked his head at that. “And that’s a bad thing how?”

She’d looked entirely perplexed. “I should be able to look at your scan and tell that you had a massive concussion less than a month ago. Even bacta can’t prevent at least a few telltale signs this soon after. Maybe a year from now, but…but there’s nothing. No evidence of the concussion at all. It’s like it never happened,” she’d distractedly waved him off, “You can go. You’re inexplicably fine.” With that, she’d muttered something about research and crazy Jedi nonsense and wandered off, staring at her data pad.

So, after sending BB-8 off to help Chewie on the Falcon, he’s now sitting outside on what is fast becoming known as “Poe’s Thinking Rock” by some of the more smart-assed members of the flight group. It’s fairly clear for Lah’mu, and the mist is almost non-existent today. He sips at a cup of caf and ponders what the doctor said. He’s so lost in thought that his dad is almost upon him when he notices him.

“You all right, kid?” Kes stands there, arms crossed over his chest and concern in his eyes.

“Hey, Dad. Yeah. I’m apparently completely fine.”

Kes settles next to Poe on the rock. “I need a little more than that, son. Something is bothering you. You only get broody when something is bothering you.” Kes peers at him with an appraising eye.

“Have you ever felt like your life was entirely out of control, Dad?” Poe looks at him.

“Of course,” Kes grimaces, “I felt that way when Shara died.”

Poe echoes the grimace. “Right. Stupid question. Anyway, I feel like everything is happening to me lately, as opposed to me making things happen.”

“Say more, kid.” Kes cocks his head at his son.

“All this Force stuff, becoming Leia’s 2IC, hells, even my girl proposing to me and you ending up here with us. All of it happened to me. If I didn’t have you and Rey grounding me in my own reality, I think I’d feel like a spectator in my own life right now. I’m not saying any part of that is bad, I’m just used to being a slightly more active part of my own life.” Poe drags a hand through his hair.

Kes squeezes Poe’s shoulder. “What triggered this, kid?”

Poe explains what happened with the doctor, and he also explains about the lack of issues related to his Force use. Kes smirks at that. “So, what you’re saying is that you’re concerned that you’re not getting massive headaches and nosebleeds?”

“Dad.” Poe gives him a dark look. “You have to admit that this shit’s getting a little weird.”

Kes snorts. “Maybe so. But if weird is working, why not just go with it?”

“Fair point. I think what’s worrying me is that it’s not happening now, but what if it does happen again, and at an inopportune time?” Poe lifts an eyebrow at Kes. “What if it happens when Rey and I are face-to-face with Kylo Ren?”

“Could the crystal be helping?” Kes gestures to the pocket where he knows Poe has been carrying the small rock.

“Kriff, I don’t know, Dad.” Poe slips his hand into his pocket and wraps his hand around the crystal, once again feeling warmth crawl up his arm. “Maybe. It’s attuned to me.” At Kes’s questioning look, Poe explains in detail what happened on Ilum, including how they each heard different songs from their respective crystals, from opposite sides of the cave.

As he speaks, Poe pulls the crystal out and hands it to Kes. Kes examines it as Poe speaks, and when Poe is done, Kes hands it back to him. “Yeah, you’re right. Shit is getting a little weird. But honestly, Poe, it feels like it might be a good kind of weird. I mean, if it’s protecting you, I fail to see the downside.”

“I guess there isn’t one unless it decides to stop unexpectedly.” Poe shrugs.

Kes gives him a look. “You have never been a pessimist. What’s going on, kid?”

Poe sighs. “There was never this much on the line before, Dad. It was just me, BB-8, and Black One. Blow stuff up, live to fight another day. Of course I was watching out for my team, and my dedication to the Resistance matters to me, but now…”

A light suddenly goes on for Kes. “You’re afraid that if it stops unexpectedly, the Little Jedi will suffer for it.”

“I’m not strong like Leia who loses over and over again and keeps her head high…” He looks at his dad. “I’m not you, Dad. If something happens to her, I don’t think I can keep going. You had to – you had a kid to take care of. But for me, now? She’s…everything. I want us to win this war because it’s right and because we’re right, but now, I want us to not just win but survive. I want us to get to live the life we’ve talked about.”

There’s nothing Kes can say to that. He understands better than anyone except maybe Leia. Eventually, Kes just reaches out and puts a hand over Poe’s, which is wrapped around the crystal again. He considers his next words very carefully. “Son, I don’t pretend to get much of this Jedi stuff. I don’t know much about the Force except to know that it’s real and it’s everywhere. But you have to trust it. Believe in it. If you don’t, it feels like it’s destined to fail. Trust it and trust yourself. Trust yourself as much as you trust Rey.”

“That’s a tall order, Dad.” Poe cringes. “I’ve messed up a lot in the last year.”

“Maybe so,” Kes agrees, standing up and holding a hand out to Poe, who takes it and lets Kes pull him up. “But on balance, considering that you’ve managed to marry the smartest, prettiest, most bad ass Jedi in the galaxy, maybe you’re doing all right.”

“She is a bad ass, isn’t she?” Poe grins.

“Don’t forget smart and pretty. And younger than you by how much? You seriously outflew your air cover on this one, kid.” Kes returns the grin.

It’s lunchtime, so they start walking in, and Poe laughs. “Hey, I’ll have you know that I was apparently considered to be quite the catch in the past.” At Kes’s questioning look, Poe goes on to explain that he’d been a popular object of affection in the ranks of the Resistance, but that it’d been something he had no idea about. Kes laughed out loud at the story of the territorial nurse after Poe was injured on a scouting mission, trying to dismiss Rey from the med bay and the dirty looks and the doctor helping them out.

“Kid, you really can be completely oblivious. Did you ever notice anything but your X-wing, your droid, and the war?”

They enter the mess, and he sees Rey standing there. He looks at his dad and gestures to his wife. “Wasn’t much worth noticing until her.”

Kes smiles a little wistfully. “I remember that feeling. I outflew my air cover with your mom, too. It appears to run in the family.”

Rey notices them and comes over, winding her arm through Poe’s when she gets to them and leaning up to press a kiss to Kes’s cheek. “Hello, boys. What have you two been up to? I hear you were headed for your Thinking Rock again.” Her smile is teasing, but he can feel muted concern from her.

Poe rolls his eyes. “Not you too, Beautiful! It’s been three times! Three. That is not enough to claim a rock as my own.”

She drags him towards the food line, a laughing Kes in their wake. “Sure, Flyboy. So, if you went out there and someone was occupying it, you’d be fine with that?”

He is silent for a moment before muttering, “It would depend on who it was.”

Kes laughs even harder at that, but Rey just links her hand with his. “As long as I’m on the good list, that works for me, Flyboy. I like our rock.”

An hour later, after getting a call from Rose, Poe and Rey head towards the workshop Finn and Rose set up. When they get there, Finn is grinning, and Rose is literally bouncing on the balls of her feet. Rey exchanges a look with Poe before asking, “What’s up, you two?”

Rose speaks first. “They’re ready! I think I even have them wired properly, but I want to check them against your old one, Rey!”

Rey nods, pulling the old lightsaber from her belt and tossing it to Finn, who is closer. He passes it to Rose, who mumbles resentfully, “I could’ve caught it.”

They all laugh at that, and Rey tries to look serious. “Of course. Sorry, Rose.”

Rose makes a face at them all and takes the saber to her work bench. She opens the casing, extracting the old crystal and setting it aside. Rey joins her, watching carefully as Rose examines and compares the wiring of the three saber casings. Rey is itching to pick up the one that she can tell is for her, as it’s smaller than the other two. Poe can feel her getting excited from across the room, so he motions to Finn with his head, and they walk over to join Rose and Rey.

Wrapping an arm around Rey’s waist, he thinks, “Settle down, ace. Nobody likes an anxious Jedi.”

She swallows a snorting laugh, and she turns her head to try to give him a stern look. The mischief in his eyes derails her, though, so she just thinks, “Behave, Flyboy,” and turns back to Rose.

After a few more minutes of tinkering, Rose making some small adjustments here and there, she looks up at both Rey and Poe. “Done. I think they’re both ready!”

Poe lifts an eyebrow. “You think?” The words are said without any edge, but Rey still elbows him in the side.

“I already told you to behave, Poe Dameron.” She turns back to Rose. “Let’s try mine first. We can save Colonel Skeptic until after we check mine.”

Poe frowns. “I didn’t mean anything by it!”

Poe feels bad, and then Rey does too, but Rose just laughs and shakes her head. “You two can really be ridiculous. You,” she looks at Poe, “Stop it. It’s fine. You didn’t hurt my feelings.” Then she looks at Rey. “And you, I appreciate it, but you stop it, too. I can take care of myself.”

Finn grins. “She really can.”

As Rey holds her hand out for her saber casing, she mumbles out an apology to Rose, who waves it off as she hands Rey the saber. Blinking, Rey holds the new casing in her hand. As she grips it, she is stunned that it truly does feel exactly like the one from the dream.

A moment later, Rose passes Poe’s to him, and he has the same stunned moment. He looks at Rey, whose thoughts are echoing through his head. “Yeah, this is crazy.”

“They really are the same?” Finn lifts an eyebrow.

Rey and Poe breathe out, “Yes,” at the same time, and Rose literally claps her hands in excitement.

“Let’s get the crystals in them!” Rose’s enthusiasm is contagious.

Rey leans forward, putting her casing down and pulling the crystal from her pocket. Rose shows her how to open the casing, and, after gripping it tight in her palm and enjoying the warm sensation from it one more time, she slips it into the casing and clicks it closed. There is a clear area at one end of the small room, so she moves towards it.

Poe follows relatively close, his own casing still in one hand, his crystal in the other. Rey turns and faces him, and she activates the saber. Finn and Rose both gasp when the blade forms for the first time, the soft golden glow illuminating Rey’s face and her end of the room. Poe grins. “Like the sun.”

She nods at him, and, Rose joins him, showing him how to open the casing. A moment later, Poe clicks the casing shut and locks eyes with Rey. Rose steps back, rejoining Finn, and Poe activates his saber. Just like in the dream, it’s almost snow white, but when he moves it, soft, ephemeral flashes of color illuminate the blade. Rey looks almost relieved. “Like flying.”

Then, they both grin again, and at the same time, they deactivate their sabers and say, “Training room!”

They head towards the area of the cruiser with training rooms, Finn and Rose close on their heels. When they enter the room, Kes, leading a hand-to-hand class at the other end of the space lifts an eyebrow at them. Poe grins and holds up his saber, and Kes blinks before getting a nearby sergeant to take over the class. The class watches as their usually-serious teacher hurries over to join some of the best-known faces of the Resistance. They all know that Kes shares a name with Colonel Dameron, but they didn’t quite realize that Colonel Dameron, General Organa’s 2IC, is Captain Dameron’s son until they see them together.

Before Kes gets to them, Poe and Rey stop, him dropping his jacket, her the vest she has on. They stand next to each other, but far enough apart to be safe. They activate their sabers at the same moment, just as Kes joins Finn and Rose. Kes drawls, “So, I guess they work?”

Finn laughs, and Rose answers, “Looks like it! And the colors are so…them.”

Kes can’t help but agree, blinking at the sight of his son with a lightsaber of his own. He shakes his head, and he can’t stop the thought that Shara would love this. And he agrees with Rose – the gold of Rey’s, for him, echoes her warm spirit and strength, as Poe said, like the sun. As for Poe’s, the white with flashes of color, it’s a perfect representation of the sky on Yavin 4. He knows Rey thinks it looks like flying, and she’s also right. But to him, the saber just makes Kes think of home.

Ignoring the growing crowd watching them, Rey and Poe face each other, and Rey reaches out to Poe with her mind. “Can you follow me, Flyboy?”

He moves his saber, amazed at the lightness of it. It feels like the one in the dream, but he warns himself to not get too comfortable with it. He thinks back at Rey, “I think so. Take it easy to start, all right?”

“Yes. At first, just mimic my movements.” She thinks the direction at him as she begins to move. He does, and even Kes draws in a breath at how natural it looks for Poe.

Rey has been showing him some drills and moving him through them the last two days, but it was hard for him with the old blue lightsaber. Poe is amazed by the difference between the two, and he relaxes into the movements. He remembers the revelation he had back on Yavin 4. He struggles with the Force when he tries too hard. He has to just settle in and let it flow. He feels his mind connect with Rey’s, and they both begin to circle, moving in and feinting back, their blades touching occasionally with a quick spark.

Their movements mirror each other’s almost perfectly. She spins her saber in her hand, and without a second thought, he does the same, grinning at her. Finally speaking aloud, Rey says, “Let’s go, Flyboy.”

He grins. “Bring it, Beautiful.”

At that, they stop following each other and begin to actually spar, blades crashing together and then pulling back, almost as if in a choreographed dance. They completely tune out the awestruck crowd, instead solely focused on one another and the movement of the sabers. They don’t notice when Leia comes in with Connix, Chewie, and BB-8, coming to stand near Kes, nor do they see the pilot crews crowd into the training area.

Their connection makes it easy for them to read each other, to anticipate moves, seeing what’s next. They begin to move faster, blades colliding more and more frequently, their bond seeming to strengthen with each hit. Next to Kes, Leia has to gasp at the strength she feels from them, the bond nearly visible to her eyes. How her son thought that Rey could ever think of him as anything but a friend has never seen a bond like this. It makes her as sad for him as anything else lately.

At first, Kes thinks that they’re just sparring, neither trying to win, but he senses that this is more than that. He realizes that Rey is moving more and more, her concentration increasing. She is actually having to work at this. Without their connection, it would likely be much slower going for Poe to get the hang of this, but with her in his head, guiding him, it’s like he’s been doing this for years.

Poe is getting tired, but he doesn’t want to stop yet. In fact, there is something he wants to try, something similar to what Rey told him about defeating Snoke’s guards, but he wants to do it with a bit of a twist. Literally.

She sees what he’s thinking, and she loves the idea. She nods and winks at him, smiling. They both feint back, and then, lightning quick, he moves forward. Her blade comes towards him, causing the crowd to gasp. But he’s ready. He twists low, tossing his saber up. He spins under her blade, straightening as the still-active saber lands in his hand, his blade near Rey’s face. They stare at each other, eyes locked, both breathing hard. After holding position for a moment, they deactivate their sabers, and Poe says, “Holy kriff, I can’t believe I did that without cutting off a limb.”

She huffs out a laugh at that, launching herself into his arms, pressing her lips to his. He returns the kiss, both of them only pulling back when thunderous applause from the gathered spectators startles them. They’re both surprised by the size of the crowd, and the usually private, quiet Rey buries her head in Poe’s chest. He waves to the crowd, but then he leans down and murmurs, “So, I like lightsabers now,” in her ear.

She laughs, her arms encircling his neck. “Glad to hear it, Flyboy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One question. If, theoretically, I wrote a (likely very poorly done) smutty first time story that would go between chapters three and four of Connections, would you all be interested in that as a one-shot?


	7. Knowing Who You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe get schooled a little by someone, and then Finn is the one who needs help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: OK, yeah, I’m creating my own backstories now, which are probably wildly off base but c’est la vie. This started with a bit of fun, but it morphed into an emotional struggle for Finn – kind of came out of left field even in my head.
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.

After the crowd disperses at Leia’s order, even Chewie and BB-8 heading back to the Falcon, Rey and Poe continue to work with their new lightsabers, getting a feel for them. It’s likely mostly unnecessary, but it’s also important for them. Their bond is secure, they can feel that, but given their disparate level of mastery of the Force, Rey notices that the more they practice, the more comfortable Poe gets.

After a while, the only spectators left are Leia, Rose, Finn, and Kes. The latter two toss out tips on form occasionally; they may not know lightsabers, but they do know fighting technique. At one point, when they’re both struggling with something Kes called out to them, he stands up, exchanging a look with Leia, who mutters, “Go blow their minds, Dameron.”

He’d been warning them that they were both showing where they were going and leaving their sides exposed, and he goes over, offering to show them what he means. Leia, Finn, and Rose watch, both Finn, who has been helping Kes teach hand-to-hand classes, and Leia, who has always known what Kes is, or at least used to be, capable of, grinning knowingly.

“Come here, Little Jedi.” Kes motions Rey to him.

“Kes!” Finn calls out to him. Kes looks over, and Finn tosses him a staff. Poe moves over to Finn to watch his dad spar with his wife, a thought he’s pretty sure he’s never imagined that he’d have.

Kes nods as he catches the weapon. “Thanks, kid.” He tests the staff in his hands a few times, swinging it around with a comfort level that makes Rey quickly realize that there’s more to her adopted father than she knew. “Come on, Little Jedi. Saber up.”

He takes a fighting stance, and she does the same. She activates her saber, spinning it in her hand. “All right, Dad. Show me what you meant.”

They begin to circle each other, moving in and back. Rey swings out with the saber a few times, Kes always moving out of reach with speed that surprises everyone but Finn and Leia. Eventually, Rey gets frustrated, and she moves in. Kes sees his chance when she drops her shoulder and moves towards him, ready to swing the saber. He surprises her by first moving towards her blade, but at the last moment, he spins back, popping her lead hand hard with the staff. She drops the saber, which deactivates before it hits the floor.

Poe, Rose, and Rey all gape at him as Finn and Leia laugh. Kes props the staff on the ground, lifting an eyebrow at her. She blinks at him. “How did you…”

He leans down and picks up her saber. “You both are dropping your shoulder. It makes it very easy to know where you’re going. Also, when you do that, you’re exposing your lead hand.”

Rey gapes. “But when we sparred before, you were struggling!”

Kes shrugs. “Little Jedi, I was in shape for farming. Not so much for fighting. After I got my shoulder back in shape,” he refers to an injury he got sparring with her, “And you were reticent to keep working with me – which I understand, by the way – I started working out with Finn. Kid can fight, by the way.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about my technique issues then?” Rey demands, slightly flustered.

He shoots her a rueful grin. “Two things. At first, I was so focused on my own conditioning that I didn’t actually watch your form that much. Then, when I was getting better and you started fighting harder, how do you think you only managed to land one hit? I could see you coming. I was going to talk to you about it, but then my shoulder popped out, you and Poe freaked out about it a little, so here we are.”

Rey and Poe exchange a look, and then she nods. Kes reaches out and squeezes Rey’s shoulder before looking over at Finn. “Finn, can you get me another staff?”

Finn grabs one and brings it over. Kes trades him Rey’s saber for the staff, which he hands to Rey. “I know you’re good with a staff, Little Jedi. Let’s work with that first.” At her puzzled expression, he explains, “Rey, in case you slip, I’d rather it be with something that’ll bruise as opposed to cutting me in half.”

She nods, straightening up. The staff in her hands is of a slightly different weight than her usual one, but it only takes her a moment to get a feel for it. Kes looks over at Poe. “I’m really going to fight with your wife now, son. Please resist the urge to try to kick my ass later in retaliation.”

Poe nods, but he also smirks. “No promises, Dad.”

“Fair enough,” Kes shrugs, “I’ll just have to watch my back, because you may want to, as noted, kick my ass.”

Kes turns back to Rey, who is now swinging the staff. Kes knows that she’s trained with it, but not like he’s about to show her. With no warning, he spins his staff around, moving towards her in a fast opening salvo. She blinks in surprise, staff coming up as she rocks back on her heels in defense, but she’s too late. Her staff clatters to the ground. Kes uses his staff to pick hers up and flip it to her.

“Again.” He says the word with authority, slipping into his teacher role immediately. He’s definitely regained his form since he stopped sparring with her two months ago.

They circle, Kes telling an increasingly frustrated Rey what she did wrong each time he disarms her. After the fifth time, she is fuming slightly. They set their stances, and she advances aggressively this time. They lock staffs and back away, Kes grinning because she’s not overthinking it now, and that means she’s actually doing better.

They spin and parry in a dance not too different from the one Poe and Rey performed with the lightsabers, but this is different because they can’t read each other’s minds. They’re moving with lightning speed now, and Kes is happy to see that she has stopped dropping her shoulder.

Poe watches, mesmerized. He truly didn’t know what his Dad could do. The older Dameron has a level of speed that would be envied by someone thirty years his junior. Kes has gotten several taps in on Rey, but Poe knows that Kes isn’t hurting her. Poe does have to quash his itch to protect her, just as Kes cheekily predicted.

The fight is speeding up, and both Kes and Rey are sweating slightly now. They are moving constantly, the clacks of their staffs against each other almost the only sounds in the training area. Rey is getting increasingly aggressive, and she has gotten a few sharp taps in, though nothing that’ll even bruise. She’s basically been clipping him as he moves away, frustrating her and barely bothering him.

Kes knows that he’s tiring, and he wants to make a point with her and, maybe more importantly, with Poe. When they move back in after parting briefly, he manages to fake her out again, feinting left and then spinning hard to his right. As he does, he swings his staff low, and he knocks her off of her feet. She lands hard on her back, her staff clattering to the floor a few meters away, knocked loose when she hit the ground. He spins his staff again and holds it to her neck.

Surprised, she blinks up at Kes, who looks like a tightly coiled spring. In his peripheral vision, he sees Poe tense, but Kes ignores him and asks quietly, “Do you yield?”

After a moment, she nods slightly. He relaxes and pulls back, offering her his hand. He pulls her to her feet. “Little Jedi, I own that this would have been different if you had your lightsaber, but you need to know how to keep from losing it and also to be able to fight if you do lose it, especially since you’re still learning how to use the Force. That said, thank you for not throwing me across the room like I know you can. For what it’s worth, Luke used to mess up the same stuff with far more Jedi training under his belt.”

Leia cackles as she, Finn, Rose, and Poe join them. “You used to drop him like that every time he trained with you, Dameron. I loved it.”

Poe blinks. “Wait, Dad, you trained with Luke?”

Leia corrects Poe before Kes can respond. “No. He didn’t train with Luke. He trained Luke. Before we went to rescue Han from Jabba the Hutt, Luke had to rehab his hand. Kes is the one who helped him learn to use it and to get better at one-on-one fighting.” She looks fondly at her old friend. “You always were a scrappy son of a bitch, Kes.”

Just like Poe does when he’s embarrassed, Kes looks down and rubs the back of his neck with one hand. “Thanks, General. I think.” At that, Leia bumps Kes’s arm, and Kes and Finn tell her a little about the training classes they’re running.

Poe looks at Rey, and he thinks, “Beautiful, are you all right?”

She smiles sheepishly and thinks back, “Only thing wounded is my pride. Dad never ceases to amaze me.”

“You and me both,” he thinks, “I want to train with him. Regularly. What do you think?”

She nods and goes to Kes’s side, linking her arm through his. “So, do you have time open for a private class for two every other day, Captain Dameron?”

He chuckles. “Good to know you still like me, Little Jedi. And of course I do. But we should have Finn join us, too, maybe with that old lightsaber in hand.”

Poe perks up at that even as Finn goes wide-eyed. “That’s a really good idea, Dad.”

“I don’t know. The lightsaber? Me?” Finn blinks a few times.

“Finn,” Rey releases Kes and moves over to Finn, “I saw you use it on Starkiller, remember? You actually did pretty well against Kylo, who had been training for years.”

Rose pipes up, “You can do it, Finn. You know you can. And you can also make a similar casing for Anakin’s crystal. That would make it even easier for you.”

Rey nods, looking up at her friend. “Finn, you could really help us. We need to spar against more than just each other. You’re bigger and stronger than both of us, and you were trained in hand-to-hand. Kes wouldn’t suggest it if he thought you didn’t have anything to offer.”

“Rey’s right, kid,” Kes agrees, “I’m not touching one of those things, but you can and have. You’re also damned good at fighting. Just think about it.”

Finn’s expression shows reluctance, but he nods hesitantly. “I’ll think about it.”

They disperse then, Leia heading to Command and Finn heading over to the punching bags they have set up for practice. Rose and Rey both look concerned as he wraps his hands and starts wailing on a bag. Poe furrows his brow, but Kes says, “Leave him be.”

Poe frowns at that, but he thinks at Rey, “I think I should talk to him. I want him to know he doesn’t have to do anything he’s not comfortable with.”

She blinks, then something seems to occur to her. She thinks back, “Like I told you with the Force training.”

He just nods, and she reaches over and squeezes his hand. She softly says, “All right, Flyboy.” She turns to Rose and Kes. “Why don’t we go? We can sort out a schedule.”

Rose goes with Rey, but Kes hesitates. Poe notices and says, “Dad, I’m not going to push him. The opposite, actually. He shouldn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, and I’m going to tell him that.”

Kes squeezes Poe’s shoulder. “Thanks, kid. That young man is tough, but his life…well, it has been pretty terrible until this last year. We all seem to forget that sometimes.”

“I won’t ever forget that, Dad. Remember what he did for me.”

Kes winces, but then he nods. “And then what you did for him, Poe. Yeah, you may be just the person to talk to him.”

“I’ll see you later, Dad?” Poe doesn’t want to kick his dad out, so he tries to be subtle about it.

Kes sees right through him, but he holds his hands up and motions with one to Finn. “Yes. Dinner in the mess?”

“We’ll be there.” Poe shoots Kes a grateful look, then he turns towards his friend. As he approaches, he is surprised to suddenly feel an undercurrent of anxiety and anger from Finn. Without saying anything, he wraps his own hands and comes up behind the bag, which is swinging from the brutal hits Finn has been delivering. He steadies the bag, leaning into it to give Finn some resistance to work against.

Finn clearly notices, but he just keeps going. Poe lets him, not speaking or trying to stop him. He knows Finn is working through something. After a few minutes, Finn seems to be tiring. With one last brutal hit that actually sends a shock through Poe’s upper body, Finn leans into the bag, one hand on each side of it and his head resting against it. When he catches his breath, he straightens up and mutters, “I don’t want to talk about it, Poe, so if you’re here to offer some sort of therapy…”

Poe interrupts him, stepping from behind the bag. “I don’t need you to talk, Finn. I need you to listen.” Finn gives him a surprised look, and Poe goes on, “Don’t feel like you have to do this. If you aren’t comfortable with it, you don’t have to do it. You’ve spent your whole life doing things you didn’t want to do. I refuse to allow anyone here, not even the general, to continue that pattern.”

Finn walks over to a bench and sinks down on it, dropping his head into his hands. Tactile as always, Poe follows him, crouching in front of him and putting a hand on each of Finn’s bent knees. “You deserve more than that. Do you hear me? You deserve more and better. Would it help us?” Finn lifts his head, eyeing Poe warily. “Yes. It would. But that’s not a good reason to force you into it. You’re my friend, and I won’t let it happen.”

“I’m a weapon.” Finn’s voice is barely a whisper. “That’s all they trained us to be. Just weapons. Sure, we had to do shit like sweep the floor and other menial crap, but the truth is that when the moment came, we were pointed at innocents and told to fire.”

“And you didn’t.” Poe’s voice is emphatic, and Finn’s eyes meet his briefly before closing again. “You didn’t, Finn. You couldn’t. And in that moment, you showed that you are far more than a weapon. Then, at personal risk, you got me out of that damned interrogation room, and you convinced me to fly us out of there. You saved me, Finn. You saved my life.”

“And you saved mine, Poe.” Finn looks up, his gaze stronger this time.

“Finn, you were worth saving. And then you saved Rey on Starkiller. You showed her more loyalty after a matter of days than many people show in their entire life. Hell, you knew me what, fifteen minutes? And you showed similar loyalty to me.” Poe is determined that Finn see this. “And don’t get me started on the loyalty you now show to Rose and my dad.”

Finn swallows hard. “I want to marry Rose.”

Poe grins. “You should ask her. I think it’ll take her about half a second to say yes.”

“She’s too good for me, Poe.” Finn shakes his head.

“Bantha shit.” Poe frowns, and Finn looks at him in surprise. “I could say that I knew Paige and Rose, but the truth is that I knew Paige and I knew of Rose. You saw Rose, Finn. You truly saw her. Most people didn’t bother to even look twice at her. She was just the tech who helped keep us in space, who kept the systems working. And I know that’s unfair as hell. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you saw her – we’re all better for it. And trust me, we all screw up. But then we rally. That’s what character is, Finn. You have more than your share of that. You saved me, you saved Rey, you helped us stay focused, you did all that. For people you’d known a matter of days.”

Finn is quiet for a moment before sighing. “This is going to sound so kriffing dumb after everything you just said, but you know what I wish?”

Poe senses that Finn has settled down a little, so he pushes himself up and sits next to Finn on the bench. “I’m sure it’s not dumb, Finn. What do you wish?”

“I wish I knew where I was taken from. I wish I could get even an inkling of who I am. Rey and I probably get along well because we get that about each other.” He closes his eyes. “We both don’t know who we are.”

“Finn there isn’t anything dumb about that. But let me try this again, buddy. You are Finn. You are my friend, you are Rey’s friend, you are something far more than a friend to Rose Tico. My dad loves you – and Rose for that matter – as much as he loves me and Rey. Leia Organa trusts you. You told us how to destroy Starkiller and you helped us do it. You raised a lightsaber to Kylo kriffing Ren to protect Rey. You defied everything you’d ever known to spring a beat-up, mind-split Resistance pilot on the slim chance that you could escape the hell you were living in. You have more courage in your little finger than most of us have in our entire bodies. Even when you seemed to be running, it was to protect people. That’s who you are, Finn.”

“And I’m Rey.” They both look up quickly to see Rey standing there with a sheen of tears in her eyes. “Rey Dameron. Jedi in training. Scavenger. Mechanic. Porg herder. Pilot. Friend of Rose Tico, apparent hope of the Resistance, adopted daughter of both an aging Wookie and a re-enlisted Pathfinder. Wife of the best pilot in the Resistance. Appear to have joint-custody of the most overly-emotive astromech in the history of astromechs. Object of obsession of Kylo Ren, the unlikely child of two of the best people I’ve ever known, Han Solo and Leia Organa. And someone who is incredibly sorry for putting pressure on you, one of her best friends. That’s who I am.”

She assumes the same position Poe had a moment ago, crouching in front of Finn. His hands are on his knees now, so Rey covers them with hers. “And Finn? You and me? We are both enough. We are both valued and valuable. And we both deserve happiness. We both deserve better than we got until this year, and we both deserve a future with someone we love.”

Poe bumps Finn’s shoulder. “And for what it’s worth, Finn, we can see what we can do about figuring out your homeworld. Maybe there are databases about where they take their future stormtroopers from. It’s not like we don’t know what your designation was. Until we can access that kind of information, maybe the doc can run a genetic panel to help us figure out potential parts of the galaxy where you could be from. It’s worth a try.”

After a moment, Finn nods. “I’d appreciate that.” After a beat, he also gets his usual glint back in his eye. “And you, Rey, are just as good a pilot as your other half here.” He bumps Poe’s shoulder back.

“Seriously, man?” Poe tries to act affronted, but he honestly isn’t. “I see how it is.”

Rey can also tell that Poe isn’t bothered. She grins up at him, shooting him a teasing look. “Maybe now that I fly your mom’s A-Wing, we can race.”

Poe rolls his eyes. “That would just mean you fly a faster ship, Beautiful. Not that you’re better.”

Finn snorts. “I have to side with the colonel here, Rey. When you beat him in an X-Wing, then we can talk about who is the best.”

Rey stands, and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, I know the truth.” She smirks, and Poe laughs, standing up and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Finn stands too, and he laughs with them for a moment before turning serious. “Thank you both.” He takes a deep breath. “And I want to help with the training. Rey,” he looks at her, “Are you sure it’s all right for me to use the old saber? I agree with Rose, it would be easier if I did a new casing. That would mean just using the crystal.”

She nods. “Of course, Finn, but don’t do it for us. You really don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to.” Finn smiles at her, and then he turns to Poe. “Thank you for saying some things that I needed to hear, my friend. Most of all, thank you for allowing me to make the choice about this, for making sure I knew it was my choice.”

Rey cringes and smiles sheepishly. “I really am sorry, Finn. I was so careful not to push Poe on the Force stuff, but I didn’t give you the same room to choose.”

Finn shakes his head. “Stop, Rey. That wasn’t a barb at you, I promise. You didn’t mean any harm, neither did Kes and Rosie. It’s flattering to know that you all think I can help.”

“So,” Poe stands there, bouncing on his feet, an idea forming in his head. “Were you here long enough to overhear how our friend here feels about Rose?”

Rey blushes lightly. “I heard all of it.” At Poe’s surprised look, she nervously spins her rings on her left hand and explains, “I was blocking you. I’m sorry, Flyboy.”

Poe smiles and shakes his head, ruffling her hair. “I’m not mad if Finn isn’t.”

“It’s fine, Rey. I’m glad you did. I think I needed this from both of you today.” Finn shrugs and gives her a half-armed hug.

With a nod, Poe says, “Good. Then here’s what I’m thinking. Please propose to Rose. Soon.”

They start to leave the training area, and Finn looks at Poe. “Why? What’s the rush?”

Rey looks confused too, so he thinks something directly at her. Understanding dawns in her eyes, and she nods emphatically. “Yes. Propose. Wedding soon.”

Finn stops walking and eyes them both suspiciously. “All right, what is going on?”

Rey comes to a stop next to Poe, and he beckons with his head. She shakes her head. “No. You tell him.”

“But you’re the reason we need this kind of help!” Poe protests.

“Me? You didn’t argue, Flyboy! You were actually quite happy about it!” She puts her hands on her hips.

They try to stare each other down, a confused Finn looking on. After about ten seconds, Poe throws his hands up in the air and turns to Finn. “Connix hates us!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Finn blinks.

Poe goes on, “She wanted to plan a wedding. She’s royally pissed off at us because of how we got married. So, if she can focus on you and Rose…”

Rey finishes for him, “Connix might leave us alone!”

Finn looks back and forth between them for a moment, then he bursts out laughing. Poe and Rey stare at him for a while, then they start getting annoyed. Eventually, he wipes his eyes and says, “Let me get this straight: are you two afraid of the nice blonde lady who helps the general? The one that’s about the same size as Rose, wee little braided buns on her head?”

“Man, do not make fun of her hair. She hates that. And she’s scrappy as hell.” Poe shakes his head.

“She’s not nice! It’s a trick to make you feel safe with her!” That comes from Rey, and even Poe lifts an eyebrow at her. “What? The minute I told her I preferred something small and low-key, she stopped being so nice. She keeps threatening to turn off the hot water to our quarters!”

“Wait, that’s a thing? She can do that?” Finn looks alarmed. After twenty-plus years in the First Order with basically no creature comforts, hot showers have fast become one of his favorite things.

“Technically, yes, she can.” Poe confirms.

“Kriff.” Finn frowns. “So, I need to…”

“Let Rose handle it. She was upset that we wanted it small, too. So, she and Connix may be on the same wavelength.” Rey tries to sound reassuring. “It’ll be fine.”

Finn nods, but Poe looks at her and thinks, “Really?”

Finn has moved ahead of them, so Rey shrugs helplessly and thinks, “Hell if I know. But anything to get Connix off our backs.”

Poe chuckles and shakes his head, wrapping an arm around Rey. He thinks, “So much for loyalty. I’m glad you’re on my side, Beautiful.”

 

  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OK, promise to get back to plot next time around. I just wanted them to have a little interpersonal growth. And for Poe to get to be all supportive.


	8. The Next Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kes deems them ready for the field, our heroes head out on a mission for Leia that has the potential to get messy and maybe to help them begin to rebuild even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Moving into the next phase of this story – am getting more solid directionality in my head, and this one definitely pushes into a more active plot. Thanks to y’all who are hanging in with this story – real life and spending free time with my daughter keep me away from writing for a bit now and then, so the slower updates will probably continue.
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.

 

 

Over the next several weeks, they spend a lot of time practicing both outside in the mist and in the training room. As promised, Finn built his own saber casing for Anakin’s crystal. The first few times they trained, he dutifully passed the saber with the old crystal in it back to Rey when they were done.

Finally, one night, Rey refused to take it. “Finn, it’s yours.” She and Poe had discussed it the night before, and they’d come to this realization together.

Finn shook his head. “No, Rey. It called you, not me.”

Rey took his hand. “Finn, it did call, but I’ve come to understand that it was calling me to the Force. I held that saber in my hand – there was a buzz and then visions and images – like a door opening. It was terrifying and so foreign that I ran from it. But when I held the crystal in my new lightsaber? I went warm all over. I felt focus and rightness. Anakin’s crystal brought me here, but it’s not mine. It needs a home, an owner. I think that’s you.”

Poe nodded. “I’m with Rey. I felt the same as her with my crystal. It’s weird as hell, but it’s true. Maybe you don’t feel that with Anakin’s crystal, but you seem to do well with it.” Poe told the truth there. Their lightsaber sparring sessions are intense and competitive. Rey is definitely better than both Poe and Finn, but they can keep up with her. Other than drills with the staffs to warm up every session, they now practice almost entirely with the sabers, with Kes coaching them from the sidelines.

That was weeks ago. Finn reluctantly took the saber, and like Poe and Rey, now his saber is rarely far from him. Poe is fascinated by his own need to have his close. He feels exposed without it now. He usually has it on his belt, but when he has to fly, he and Rey even rigged a special pocket on his flight suit so that he has it on him even in Black One. He realizes now that it’s not the lightsaber that helps him with the Force – it’s the crystal. It focuses him in a way he’s never been able to focus before.

In the last few weeks, that’s become more important, as they’re doing more and more scouting runs. They aren’t so much looking for new base sites – they have some back-ups if they need them – instead, they’re scouting strike opportunities to take out First Order supply chains and weapons manufacturing. Poe has been leading a lot of those runs, mostly pleased with the new pilot corps. Rey doesn’t always go with them, though more often than not, she does, flying his mom’s A-Wing, now Green One. They have three other A-Wings now, and they’re designated Green Squadron, just like his mom’s old unit. Rey is now Green Leader, her callsign except when she and Poe are flying alone, more of a rarity these days.

Surprisingly, they haven’t been located here yet, so on Lah’mu they stay. They’ve been here a while, and Poe and Rey have both become fairly well adapted to the cool, damp climate. Kes, on the other hand, is miserable. Poe knows that the cold, wet air isn’t great on his dad’s shoulder or on the old knee injury that Poe also knows he has, one he got way back on Endor when Poe was just a toddler.

Poe can see when the soreness is getting to Kes, and he, Rey, and Finn now actually have some non-verbal signs they use to basically tell each other to take it easy. He could, of course, just think that to Rey, but they needed to loop Finn in. Poe is certain they aren’t fooling Kes, but he senses that Kes is grateful for both the care and for them giving him the ability to gracefully take it easy. It’s hard for Poe – in his head, his dad is the age he was when Shara died – not far from Poe’s own age today. He forgets that his dad is in his mid-50s now.

The good news for them is that their numbers are swelling, and while this is their main location, they now have reliable ally sites all over the outer rim and even deep into the inner core. After their disheartening moment on Crait when they realized that they were on their own, it’s been a steady stream of volunteers. They owe the First Order themselves for a lot of the new interest in the Resistance – the brutal ways of Hux in particular turning more and more people against them. Without Snoke there to corral Hux, things are unraveling into a mess of violence and attempted domination.

Poe is sitting there thinking about this one afternoon while they’re training, Finn and Rey sparring with staffs for a change while Kes coaches them. The lack of the “Supreme Leader’s” visibility worries Leia, Poe knows, because it speaks of Kylo Ren being either out of control of Hux, or out of control of himself, or maybe both, and none of those are good things. Poe wishes he could help her with the worry, but he knows there’s nothing he can do.

Even as he thinks of her, Leia comes into the training room trailed by Connix as usual. Connix joins Kes, but Leia comes to sit next to Poe, remarking, “They’re both getting damned good.”

“They are,” Poe agrees. “They’re both scary-fast with those staffs. I’m a lot better with the saber.”

“Having trouble keeping up, old man?” Leia grins, elbowing him in the side.

Poe chuckles. He has exactly zero ego about this. “You bet your ass I am, General. Maybe it’s too many years in an X-Wing. The saber feels natural for weird, Force-related reasons, but I despise those damned staffs and most other kinds of hand-to-hand. Definitely not my wheelhouse. If I can shoot it or blow it up, I’m a hell of a lot happier.”

Leia gives him a surprisingly gentle shoulder bump at that, and he feels a wave of nostalgia roll off of her. He looks at her, slight concern in his eyes, and she waves him off. “You just,” she pauses and takes a deep breath, “You sounded a lot like Han just then. And I mean that in a good way.” She offers him a weak smile.

“I wouldn’t take that comparison in any way but good, Leia,” he replies softly, “I’m always good with being compared to one of my heroes.”

She sniffs a little and changes the subject. “Did Rey give you the holos I found of Han and Chewie looking after you?”

He grins, ducking his head, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “She did. She loves them. They’re on the desk in our quarters now. Baby me and young them. I think she likes having them there because there isn’t anything like that she has of herself. Thank you for taking the time to find them. Dad got a copy, too.”

“Even at two, you had that ridiculous, messy flop of hair, just like your mother. She used to have to battle it to get it under a helmet.” Leia chuckles, and he feels her wave of nostalgia and affection. “I think Kes used to help her wrangle it.”

Poe snorts, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows for a fact that his dad used to help his mom with her hair, just like he helps Rey most days, but he isn’t going to be the one to share that with the general. “So, General, what brings you here today?”

“I actually have an assignment for you.” She stands, leaning heavily on her cane and worrying Poe. She can clearly sense his concern, and she dismisses it. “I’m fine. Just having a slow day.”

He nods. He doesn’t believe her for a moment, but he respects her desire to not make a big deal of it. The others are taking a break, so they move slowly over to them. As they approach, Kes seems to notice that Leia is struggling today. He can relate, as his shoulder is killing him. He hates this planet. Looking at Poe, he lifts a questioning eyebrow, but Poe just shakes his head. Leia, who misses little, doesn’t miss their silent exchange. “Stop it, both of you. I’m fine. You’re like a pair of mother hens.”

Poe, Finn, and Rey laugh, and Kes shrugs, cringing slightly at the twinge in his shoulder. “Sorry, old friend. It seems to be a Dameron thing.”

Connix tries to get Leia to sit, but Leia waves her off with an affectionate eye roll. She then looks at Kes. “How ready are these three for a field test?”

Poe bristles slightly at Leia asking Kes instead of him, even though he knows it’s appropriate, given that Kes is technically their training lead on this. Rey clearly senses his mild irritation, because she casually leans her staff against the wall and comes over and places a calming hand on his back. He reaches behind him and covers her hand with his.

Kes blinks, and then he says, “More than ready. I’d be comfortable with any of those three in the field, but they operate best as a unit.”

Leia nods, but Finn opens his mouth in surprise and objects, “I’m just a training partner.”

Before Rey and Poe can argue, Kes says, “Not at all, kid. You are better than Poe with hand-to-hand, and you are extremely strong with the lightsaber. The three of you are all ready, and you’ll be a great team.” Kes steps closer to Finn, catching his eye. “They need you. You balance them, keep them from being so deep in their connection that they miss things outside of it.”

Neither Poe nor Rey argues with that. It’s something they’ve discussed at length, and Poe knows it’s why Kes is far more inclined to have them spar against him or Finn than against each other. Their connection is a decided advantage from the angle of communication, but it can also be a liability. Even when they spar, Kes instructs them to block each other out sometimes so that they stay aware of what’s going on around them. Kes also was pretty clear on the fact that Poe, now that he’s become pretty capable with the saber, needs to practice without Rey in his head guiding him.

Rey squeezes Poe’s hand and looks at him, and he nods slightly before saying, “Dad, General, Connix, can you give us a moment?”

The three all quietly agree, and without asking her, Kes takes Leia’s cane and offers her his arm instead. Luckily her bad side and his good side match up well, so he’s able to walk her back to the benches. Once the trio is out of earshot, Rey turns to Finn. “Kes is right, Finn. No way do we just see you as a training partner. Whether it was the initial intention or not, the three of us work really, really well together.”

Poe agrees quickly before Finn can argue. “She’s right, buddy, and so is Dad. And maybe even more importantly, I cannot imagine anyone I’d trust to have our backs more than I trust you.” He shoots Finn a crooked half-smile. “I mean, honestly, how many times have we all saved each other?”

Finn snorts softly. “That may just be because we’re all damned good at getting ourselves into trouble.”

“Well, I’m a firm believer in trying to be the best at whatever I do.” Poe smirks, and Finn laughs.

Rey rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Ignore him, Finn.” She turns serious. “Just like before, Finn, you can say no. But know that we truly think we’re better with you. The three of us are a really strong team.”

Finn sighs. “Rose told me we were going to end up here.” Poe and Rey exchange a worried glance, but then Finn smiles. “My girl is always right, isn’t she? Let’s go find out what the general has in mind.”

They walk over to where Kes and Leia wait for them, Connix having been shoo’ed back to command by Leia. Poe speaks first, “So, what did you have in mind for us, General?”

Leia smiles. “When was the last time you were on Naboo, Colonel?”

* * * * * * *

The next morning, Finn, Rose, Chewie, Poe, and Rey are loading up a small shuttle while BB-8 checks Black One for Poe. R2-D2 is also there, much to BB-8’s clear disapproval. They have to bring a lot of gear, as it’s a very long trip, literally to the other side of the galaxy, from Lah’mu to Naboo. Poe’s mind wanders to the day before as he stows gear. As usual for longer away missions these days, he has a binary beacon on his wrist.

After the general’s cryptic question yesterday, they went to Leia’s briefing room. Apparently, a few of her old friends are holed up on Naboo, and they need safe passage off of the planet and they’re willing to give them the small cruiser that they have, purportedly large enough to carry the X-Wing and their shuttle. After the briefing, Poe had taken Leia aside. “General, the last time we had this kind of intel…”

She’d cut him off. “I know, Poe. This won’t be a repeat of the ambush on Endor. This referral came to us from Maz, and they are people I know from the Senate, people who were lucky enough to be at their home instead of on Hosnian Prime when Starkiller took out the entire system. I’d stake my life on it being on the up and up. You know I wouldn’t risk you and Rey and the others for this if I didn’t think it was legitimate.”

“Why can’t we take the Falcon?” Poe had noticed both Chewie’s and Rey’s disapproval of the plan to take the small shuttle, which, despite its stature is actually well-outfitted with three crew bunks and ample storage.

“It’s the single most recognizable ship we have, Poe. It’s too risky. Even taking Black One is risky, but I want you all to have air cover available for this one.” She’d cocked her head. “Rey, Rose, and Finn are all able to spell you, correct?”

He’d nodded. The good news is that they now have a better idea of what worlds are safe to drop out and rest on. The number of days this trip would take in his X-Wing are simply too many, even for him. “Yes. We’re going to work out flight shifts for both the shuttle and Black One to key up with the exit and entry points from hyperspace.”

“Take R2, Poe. He can help spell flying the shuttle, at least well enough to keep the ship at light speed.” She’d said it in a way that brooked no argument, but he’d laughed anyway.

“BB-8 will be annoyed.” His grin had pulled an answering one from her.

“He’ll have to get over it. I also gave Chewie some clothes we’ve pulled together. If you and Rey have to meet with any leaders there for any reason, you need to dress appropriately. There’s a datapad with the clothes detailing what is appropriate and when. There is also information about the customs and expectations.” With that, she’d given him a mock salute and wished him safe travels.

“Hey, Flyboy. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

He’s kneeling down, putting some supplies away on a low shelf, so he blinks a few times, looking up into the face of his wife (that thought still surprises him). “Sorry. Did I have you blocked again?”

She ruffles his hair and smiles. “I’ve told you before that it’s all right when you do, Poe. You know it’s more important to me that you feel safe than some obligation to figuring out how to be open to me all the time but closed to everyone else. Even I don’t manage it well all the time. The general can read me like a holo novel.”

He snorts and nods. “I was just thinking about the trip and about my conversation with Leia after last night’s briefing.”

Before Rey can respond, a voice comes from behind her. “Did you ask her why I’m not going with you all?”

Poe stands. “Actually, Dad, that one is because I said you should stay here.” Rey looks at him in surprise, and Kes visibly bristles. Poe reaches out and squeezes Rey’s arm, and then he walks over to his dad. After looking to make sure the others are out of earshot, Poe goes on, “Dad, I’m worried about Leia.”

Kes’s irritation melts into concern almost immediately. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Poe shakes his head. “I’m not sure. It’s mostly a feeling. But she’s been a lot slower the last few days, and I know what happened on the bridge of the old cruiser took a lot from her. Between that and everything she’s lost lately? I just want someone who gives a damn about her as a friend instead of as the leader of the Resistance to stick close to her. You’re the right person for that, Dad. It’s more subtle than if, say, I stay here.”

With a sigh, Kes nods in agreement. “All right, kid. I get it.”

“And, for what it’s worth, Dad, I think you are able to bully her into resting a hell of a lot more effectively than I am. Maybe Chewie’s better, but…”

Kes looks up sharply. “Now there’s an idea.”

Rey nods. “He really doesn’t want to leave the Falcon.”

“And I really want to get the hell off of this planet for a while. As I recall, Naboo is reasonably temperate.” Kes’s eyes are actually a little pleading. “If Chewie wants to stay and is willing to look after Leia, can we swap? It’ll leave you down a pilot. I know that.”

Poe looks thoughtful for a moment before looking at Rey. “Between the four of us, you, me, Finn, and Rose, I think we can cover both, as long as you think you can pilot the cruiser back? I know Finn can’t manage that. But can you and Rose? With only one ship to fly, the trip back won’t be bad.”

Rey nods. “I can fly anything. You know that. You may have to give us both a few quick pointers, but we’ll be fine.”

“I’ll talk to the general.” Poe finally agrees. Kes brightens, but Poe cautions him, “She may say no. It’s her call, Dad.”

Turns out, though, that Leia is fine with it. Rey talked to Chewie, and though he’s protective of her, once she and Poe told him about Poe’s concerns about Leia, he readily agreed to stay, even hugging Poe.

Less than an hour later, they are about to get under way, all of them hopeful that the multi-day journey will be uneventful. Kes is bouncing with energy as he boards the shuttle, making Poe laugh and shake his head. Rey is the last one outside the shuttle, and she leans in and presses a kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you in about ten hours. I’m taking first shift flying the shuttle so we can take a break together. Rose is looking forward to getting into Black One, by the way.” She grins at him.

He chuckles. “I imagine she is. So long as she doesn’t install a bunch of mods while at lightspeed, I’m happy to let her have a turn.” He brushes some hair away from her eyes. “And tranq Dad if he gets too annoying. He’s so happy to be leaving Lah’mu, he’ll probably be bouncing off of the kriffing walls.”

She rolls her eyes and kisses him again. Pulling back, she murmurs, “I’m not going to tell him you said that.” Catching his eyes, soft with affection, she smiles. “I know it’ll be less than half a day, but I’m going to miss you, Flyboy.”

“Me too, Beautiful.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and gently pushes away from her. “Time to go.”

They part and head to their respective ships, and in moments, both are airborne. With clearance and a wish for the Force to be with them, they both shoot out of Lah’mu’s misty atmosphere and jump to lightspeed.

* * * * * * *

Several days later, they drop out of hyperspace at Naboo. They get an official greeting, but they simply identify themselves as merchant traders, a persona recommended by Leia. Naboo has tried to stay somewhat neutral, though Leia and Maz both think that support for the Resistance is growing here. Sadly, gone are the days when Padme Amidala stood up to oppression so staunchly. The planet is scarred somewhat by its own history, because even though it produced Padme, it also produced the Emperor.

They’re supposed to land and wait in the forests outside the capital city of Theed. They do so, settling in the lush landscape. It’s the spring season here, and Poe can see how happy the warm, humid air makes his dad. It feels a little like Yavin 4, though just slightly cooler.

After Poe runs the full shutdown sequence on Black One and Rey does the same on the shuttle, they all gather outside the two ships. Finn looks at Poe expectantly. “So, what do we do now?”

Poe shrugs into his jacket, now changed out of his flight suit and into his regular clothes. His hand drifts unconsciously to the saber on his belt. “We wait.”

“How long, kid?” Kes asks the question this time, and Poe looks over at him.

Poe smiles a little when he sees his dad in full Pathfinder mode, his still-quick eyes cataloguing the terrain around them. Poe knows that if he asked, Kes could probably give them at least three ways to disappear into the forest without much of a trace. “No idea, Dad. Could be hours, could be days. Maz and Leia aren’t sure.”

“Or it could be minutes. Guys?” Rose’s surprised voice gets all of their attention.

They’re turning to look at her when they all tense, Rey and Poe wrapping hands around their lightsabers and Finn, Kes, and Rose dropping hands to their blasters. Poe softly commands, “Stay calm, everyone.”

The approaching group isn’t menacing, and none of them have weapons drawn. Poe steps towards them, Rey close at his heels. The group is made up of mostly humanoid life forms, but Poe notes that there are two very large Gungans with them. He has to stifle a snort when he hears his dad mutter, “Hope to hell they aren’t as annoying as Jar Jar was.”

He feels a wave of confusion from Rey, and he thinks, “I’ll explain later, Beautiful.”

The group nears, and the leaders, two older humanoids who are well-armed, step aside to reveal a small young woman. Poe hears an intake of breath from his dad, and Poe himself blinks in surprise. Rey feels his surprise, but before she can ask him what’s going on, Poe finds his voice in seconds. “Your majesty. This is quite the surprise.” He bows respectfully at the waist. The others seem to notice, and they mirror his movement.

The young monarch waves the gestures off. “Colonel Dameron, welcome to Naboo. Now who are your friends?”

He gestures to each of them in turn. “Your majesty, this is my wife, Rey Dameron; my father, Captain Kes Dameron; Finn and Rose Tico, both colleagues,” he hears a couple of beeps from the shuttle, “And those are R2-D2 and BB-8.” He turns to his own people. “Everyone, this is Queen Alairia of Naboo.”

They all look surprised, but they bow slightly again as Poe turns back to the formidable-looking young woman. His eyes sweep over her guards and companions before resting on her again. “This isn’t the kind of welcome we expected, your majesty.”

“I imagine not, Colonel,” she motions to some nearby fallen logs. “Have a seat. You all need to know what’s been going on here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, things are going to get interesting.


	9. A Surprising Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe, Rey, and the others are surprised at what the Queen of Naboo asks of them, and they're even more surprised as to why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Damn. I put them on Naboo and had to write a wee bit of phonetic Gungan after re-watching part of Phantom Menace. THAT’S HOW MUCH I LIKE YOU PEOPLE. Let the intrigue commence!
> 
> Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.

 

 

They all settle where the queen indicated, the Gungans and several guards staying on their feet. Finn and Kes do the same, hovering near Poe, Rey, and Rose. “Queen Alairia,” Poe begins, but she waves him off.

“Unless we are at Court, please call me Ria, just Ria. My people like the ceremony, but I find it quite pointless.” She offers them a smile even as several of her guards grunt in disapproval.

The Gungans, however, chortle happily. One turns to them, a grin on his face. “We-sa Gungans are liking Queen Ria. Our respect she has.”

Ria smiles again, but then she turns serious, focusing on Poe and Rey. “We need help here.”

Poe blinks, and he feels a wave of confusion from Rey again. He puts a hand on her back before replying to the queen, brow furrowed. “Ria, General Organa was under the impression that there were former Republic Senators hiding out here, that they were lucky enough to not be on Hosnian Prime when Starkiller took out the Hosnian System.”

To the surprise of all of them, Ria laughs. “Oh my, I do love that daughter of Naboo.” She shakes her head. “It is the delegation from Naboo itself that hides here. The First Order has been hunting down any of the surviving Senators. They are here, and they are making people very uncomfortable, as they draw the focus of the First Order here. I want to help them off the planet, and I’m willing to turn over a large cruiser and several fighters to show you how serious we are.”

Poe gives her a hard look. “All due respect, Ria, if you wanted to show your seriousness, you would openly support the Resistance or, at a minimum, join the fight quietly. All you show yourself to be serious about right now is protecting yourselves, staying neutral so that the First Order will let you continue to prosper quietly while the rest of the galaxy suffers. Even your offer – we’ll give you ships if you get the troublesome targets off of our world – because I know that’s your motivation far more than protecting them – screams of self-interest.” The challenge and disdain are very clear in his voice.

One of the irritated guards from earlier, the one nearest the queen, draws his blaster and levels it at Poe, drawing an answering stance from Rey, her lightsaber drawn and activated immediately and Kes, his blaster drawn like lightning, sore shoulder or not. It’s Kes who growls out, “You’re going to want to put that away, sir. I don’t approve of people pointing blasters at my son.”

Ria barks, “Mahlo, put it away now.”

Poe puts a hand on Rey’s arm, and he calls, “Dad, same thing. Put it away.” He looks up at Rey. “Stand down, Rey.”

Her narrowed eyes stay on Ria’s guard. “Only when he does. No one threatens my family.”

“Mahlo! Now.” Ria turns and glares at the man. “I will send you back with the Gungans, Captain of the Guard or not. Put it away.”

“Dad, Rey, you too.” As they all put their weapons away, Poe looks back at the queen. “Ma’am, the general sent me here for a reason. As I’m sure you’ve already deduced, it was not due to my skills at diplomacy. I will not apologize. The very few of us who still stand against the First Order are all that lies between freedom and domination in this galaxy. We don’t have time to be polite, nor do I have any patience for excuses or protectionism and what is effectively collusion. Too many people, both combatants and innocents, have already died.”

Poe goes to stand, and the queen says, “Please wait, Colonel. I do not require an apology for the truth.” Poe nods and stays put for now. “I only stand to the side to protect my people, to protect our way of life. I owe it to them to protect them, even if I think it’s best to fight. We simply want to protect our world, to avoid the view and focus of the First Order.”

Poe has to school his features. He told the truth just now - diplomacy really isn’t his thing, but the blatant self-interest behind her words, the lack of willingness to step in to fight for what’s right, makes him more than a little disgusted. Rey must feel it, as she moves closer to him, touching his arm as he had hers moments earlier.

He is distracted when the queen peers at Rey for a moment. “You’re the new Jedi we have heard tell of.” Rey still doesn’t think of herself as a full-fledged Jedi, but she doesn’t bother to correct the queen and piss off her guard again. She just nods, and the queen turns almost hostile, her eyes going cold. “My planet these days isn’t a good place for Force users. Between the Emperor’s connection to Naboo and Anakin Skywalker’s, we’re a bit wary. Suspicious, even.”

Poe notices that several of the guards now have their hands on their blasters, and he knows that he’s had enough of this bantha shit. He shoots a thought at Rey who signals Finn. He comes to stand with her and Poe, who rises to his feet. Poe nods to both of them and pulls his saber. “Then we are likely not the help you seek, Queen Alairia.”

In almost perfect unison, Rey, Poe, and Finn activate their lightsabers and take fighting stances, and for good measure, Rose and Kes raise their blasters. Poe’s eyes lock with the queen’s as he spins his saber in his hand. “And let me be clear, your majesty. Finn and I are not Jedi, but we sure as hell know how to use these. If your guards don’t take their hands off of their blasters,” he refers to the guards who stare at the three of them, frozen with shock, “We will gladly take our leave and inform General Organa that we wasted a trip.”

The queen blinks and rises, motioning to the guards. “Again, guards, hands off of your weapons.” She looks back at Poe. “Please, Colonel. Now it is I who has caused offense. I am truly sorry. The sins and tragedies of the past are not easily forgotten, but I allow that it is wrong to believe that all who use the Force will choose to tread a dark path.”

Surprising them all, the one to answer is Rose. “How very generous of you to ‘allow’ that.” The queen looks up in surprise, but Rose isn’t finished. “You won’t take sides, but you sure are quick to lump people into sets that are unacceptable, aren’t you? If it weren’t for Force users, Rey here, Luke Skywalker, and yes, General Organa, we’d all be dead right now. They are the reasons that the Resistance lives. Worlds like this one,” she motions to the elaborate city not far from where they are, “Sitting in relative comfort that you won’t even consider risking in the name of freedom and what’s right, with your smug superiority and your fear. Do you have any idea what it’s like on the worlds that don’t have the advantages of this one? What growing up was like for people like me, Rey, and Finn?”

The queens stares at the small woman who comes to stand between Poe and Finn. When no one speaks, Rose goes on, “Of course you don’t. You are basically a child who rules one of the most prosperous worlds in the galaxy. It’s easy to stay neutral when you have everything you need.” She rolls her eyes. “You people wouldn’t last a day on Hays Minor,” she refers to her own homeworld, “And you’d last even less time on Jakku. You are cowards, and you are spoiled brats.”

Kes jumps in. Rey and Poe both think it is to de-escalate the situation, but they are surprised when Kes says, “From what I hear, Queen Amidala would be ashamed of you for what you are willing to live with in order to not have to sacrifice anything. I know Leia will be far less than impressed.”

“Agreed.” Poe nods. “We’re leaving. Keep your cruiser and fighters, your majesty. They might as well be blood money, and we don’t trade in blood money. And I have news for you, Ria – your timidity in the name of protection? Your willingness to look away from the atrocities? You are very clearly taking a side – the side of the First Order. You are complicit.” He glances at Finn and Rey. “Let’s go.”

The queen looks distressed now, and one of the Gungans steps forward, saying, “We-sa telling her that you would be needing more than the ships. We-sa would be helping you if we-sa were having resources.”

Poe nods to the large Gungan. “Thank you.” He turns to go, flanked by Kes and Finn.

Rose trails them, but Rey holds her ground, looking at the queen with disapproval in her eyes. She deactivates her saber and puts it on her belt. “Your people deserve better than this cowardice. If you think the First Order will continue to leave you be, you are fools to a person. They are just ignoring you for now because you are no trouble to them. The moment they finish with the more troublesome worlds, they will be here to take what they want, and countless of your citizens will likely die. If we’re able, we’ll likely do what we can to help you – because it’s the right thing.”

With that, Rey turns on her heel and follows the others. Poe, who sent the others to the shuttle, waits for her, though Kes also lingers between Poe and the shuttle. Rey can feel the frustration rolling off of him in waves; underneath it, though, she also feels his agreement with her words to the queen. Even so, when she gets to him, she murmurs, “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t overstep.”

He doesn’t bother with words. He thinks, “Not at all, Beautiful, and not just because you are one hundred percent right.”

He takes her hand, and they continue on to the shuttle. They stop a moment later at the queen’s voice. “Please, Colonel, may I speak with you privately for a moment?”

Poe and Rey turn, seeing that all of the guards are standing far back, the one called Mahlo looking very disgruntled about it. To Poe’s surprise, it’s the two Gungans who are in front of the guards, making sure they don’t come forward. Poe looks back at his dad and motions with his head towards the shuttle, but he doesn’t release Rey’s hand. “You may speak to me and Rey. There’s nothing you can say to me that she won’t hear.”

The woman looks confused, so Rey explains, straining to keep her voice kind, “We’re Force-bonded. We can hear and usually even see each other’s thoughts.”

“I thought you said you aren’t a Jedi, Colonel?” This time, she is just openly curious, all of the hostility gone.

“I’m not, Ria. Force-sensitive, yes. Jedi, no.” He shrugs. “I grew up climbing a Force tree. It apparently rubbed off.” It’s an extreme over-simplification, but it’s all he’s going to give her. “What else did you want to talk about? And if I’m to call you Ria, I’m Poe.”

Ria nods. “Poe. I apologize for before. I am not aligned with my Guard or with my council on this matter. I am relatively new to the throne, and I am doing my best to navigate what is, I hope even you can recognize, a rather fraught situation. If I push us too far into the war, I will no doubt be challenged, likely with a no-confidence vote.”

She looks at Rey. “You and Miss Tico are right, Rey, that we are being cowardly. There is no other word for it,” she pauses, looking thoughtful. “How old are you?”

Poe lifts an eyebrow at the question, but he knows it’s not directed at him. He also knows that her response is going to make him feel really old. Rey blinks, looking at him in confusion. He just shrugs, and she huffs before responding, “Twenty standard years.”

The queen nods, looking down. “I just turned seventeen.”

Poe was wrong. He just thought he felt old thinking about Rey. She clearly hears his thoughts, and she tries and fails to smother a snort. The queen looks back up. “Is that funny?”

Rey shakes her head, her usual frankness coming through. “No, I was laughing at my husband. My age makes him feel old. Yours makes him feel somewhat ancient, at the old, old age of not-quite-thirty-three.” That makes the queen quirk a small smile.

Poe rolls his eyes and releases Rey’s hand, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you two finished?”

Rey laughs softly, reaching up and brushing some hair out of his eyes before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Sorry, Flyboy.” She turns to Ria. “Why did you want to know?”

She sighs. “I’m not sure. I am intimidated by you both, but Rey, you are so clear about right and wrong, so clear in your convictions. I think I was hoping that you are older than you look. And Poe, if you’re a colonel at just thirty-two, you must have been just as clear in your convictions at Rey’s age, maybe at mine.”

Poe shakes his head. “Ria, I’m close to twice your age, twice your age and I still struggle with right and wrong every damned day. It’s not simple. It’s complicated as hell. And to be fair, I’m the son of not one but two Rebellion heroes, and Leia Organa is my family in all but blood. My convictions have been clear since my mother died when I was eight.” He gives her an appraising look. “Why did you want to speak with us?”

She looks back to confirm that her guards are still out of earshot, and Rey notices. “I’ll warn you if they approach, Ria.”

“I fear that Mahlo intends to actually actively collude. I fear he desires to align Naboo with the First Order. He believes that an alliance is our best path. But Miss Rey, I believe you are correct. They will ignore us until they need something we have or just until the easier or more combative worlds have fallen. Then they will overtake us. Of that I have no doubt.” The young woman wrings her hand together. “I think there may be spies in the city.”

Poe’s brow furrows. “What makes you say that? And Ria, are my people and I at risk right now?”

“I do not believe so. I have two guards as well as the Gungans tracking the movement of those I suspect of infiltration. They have not been able to get to interplanetary communications, and I’ve those loyal to me monitoring all comms. I’d know if someone got a signal out.” She wrings her hands. “We’re also actively blocking outgoing strong signals.”

Rey and Poe exchange a look, and Rey thinks, “She’s afraid.”

Poe blinks and thinks back, “Yes, she definitely is.” He turns to the queen, who is watching them carefully. He asks, “What do you want from us, Ria?”

She sighs. “I know I need help. I want to put the full weight of the Naboo monarchy behind you, but I need to strengthen my position first. I need help identifying leaks in my leadership, and I need to openly challenge people on my council and in my guard, Mahlo in particular. He is the Captain of the Guard, and he has more power than he should.”

Rey cocks her head at the younger woman. “How can we help? There are only five of us.”

“Do they still stand away?” Ria asks Rey. At Rey’s nod, she goes on, “My words about the Jedi and Force-users were for the benefit of Mahlo and the guards. As much as my people have shame with regard to the Emperor, the stories of the bravery of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi persist to this day. They helped break the blockade and vanquished the Emperor’s first apprentice, Qui-Gon giving his life to do so. The majority do not fear the Jedi. Mahlo and his followers are arrogant but cowards as many bullies are – they try to build fear of you who can use the Force in order to keep you away.”

Poe lifts an eyebrow. “And the Gungans?”

“The Gungans also remember Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. They are allied with me.”

“Do you have a plan? I don’t think our mere presence will meet your needs, will it?” Poe pushes on this point. “I cannot put my team at risk if we don’t even know how we’re to help.”

“In all candor, I didn’t have much more than hope for a connection and movement of the senator and his family off of the planet until just a few minutes ago when you, Rey, and Finn activated your lightsabers.” She smiles hesitantly.

Though her expression doesn’t change, Poe feels alarm radiate from Rey, and he reaches out and puts his hand on her back. He looks at Ria, who is once again watching them with interest. “All due respect, Ria, but you’ll not be putting us on display to rally your people. If you want to draw Kylo Ren here, the best way to do that is show off Force users.”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I want. From what my own spies tell me, only about a dozen are loyal to Mahlo. Reports of the atrocities of the First Order are filtering here, and everyone knows what happened to the Hosnian System. The problem is that one of those dozen is in the Senate delegation. I believe that Mahlo wants you to evacuate them so that his man there can reach out to the First Order.”

Rey and Poe exchange another glance, and Rey asks, “All right, then what do you want us to do?”

The queen gives them a fierce look. “I want you to help me rid my planet of these traitors to Naboo and all Naboo has always stood for. I want you to help those loyal to me expose them and their plans and then neutralize them.”

Rey stares at Ria, but both she and Poe feel a surge of emotion from the young woman. They focus on each other for a moment. Poe thinks, “She’s serious.”

Rey nods slightly, thinking, “She is. What do you think?”

“I think we need to know what she means by ‘neutralize,’ but I also think having Naboo side with us would be huge,” he thinks back.

“That is fascinating.” Poe and Rey both blink and look back at the young queen, who is smirking at them. “You were actually talking through your Force bond just then, weren’t you?”

Rey blushes lightly, but Poe shrugs and says, “Yes. And we want to know what you mean by ‘neutralize.’”

“Capture them, preferably, kill them if necessary. I absolutely would rather capture them. Killing citizens of Naboo is no way to gain support.” The queen gives them a tight smile. “If you help with this, I can far more easily begin to actively support the Resistance. Even if I am not comfortable with current risks that open allegiance would bring, I can get you weapons, ships, people, and supplies.”

“Give us a moment, Ria.” Poe returns the tight smile, then motions to Rey. They head over to the shuttle. “Dad,” Poe calls, “Get Rose and Finn.”

Once they’re all assembled just inside the shuttle, Poe tells them of the queen’s request. When he finishes, Kes asks, “Do you think she’s for real, kid?”

Poe nods, and Rey chimes in, “She certainly feels sincere, Dad.”

“Dad, Rose, Finn, we aren’t going to say yes to this if you aren’t aligned. We can leave now and never look back, but it feels like a gamble worth taking.” Poe looks at them, and Rey takes his hand again.

“I’m in.” Finn is the first to speak up, but Kes and Rose immediately agree. They all decide on a plan before talking to the queen again.

Minutes later, Poe and Rey come back outside. Poe looks at Ria when they get to her. “We’re going to help, your majesty. But the first sign that you’re double-crossing us, and we are out of here. I’m assuming you want some of us to come into the city? My preference is that my dad and Rose stay here, and that Finn, Rey, and I come into the city.”

Ria looks worried. “You think three of you can take on twelve?”

Rey answers simply. “Yes. And we want Rose and our ships protected. BB-8 will also come with us, and our R2 unit will stay here.”

“You’ll need to spend time at Court. Do you have appropriate attire?” Ria motions to their clothes. “I’m afraid your current clothing will not suffice.”

“We do. Do you have a story for Mahlo as to why we’re staying?” Poe lifts an eyebrow at her.

“Yes. It’s actually quite simple. You’re giving me a chance to show you that we’re worth helping. He’ll just be lead to think that the help is with the delegation, not with taking him down.”

“Works for us, your majesty.” Rey grins.

As she speaks, Finn emerges from the shuttle with two bags in hand and BB-8 at his heels. Kes stays on the shuttle’s ramp, but Rose comes down with Finn. She hugs both Rey and Poe, and then she lets Finn reach down and press a quick kiss to her lips. She smiles up at him. “You stay safe.” She looks at Poe and Rey. “All of you stay safe.”

The little mechanic goes back over to Kes, and he wraps a protective arm around her shoulders. He calls, “Hurry back, kids. We’ll hold down the fort.”

With that, they turn to Ria. “So, off to the city we go?” Poe asks, taking one of the bags from Finn.

“Yes. Thank you all.” The queen looks afraid but determined.

“Thank us when it’s done, Ria,” Poe says grimly, re-taking Rey’s hand with his free hand, “Let’s go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, this is more meandering than my usual, but I promise I'm heading somewhere with it. Hope folks are still interested, just given the lack of commentary (that sounds needier than I mean it to!).


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